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The Dude: It's like what Lenin said…you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Illanich Uleninov!
Donny:What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?
Hello again, GME Gang. What a fun day we had yesterday! Could it continue today? Only Melvin Capital (and maybe Ryan Cohen) knows!
And an extra special hello today to our newest WSB lookie-loo, Mr. Cramer (Can I call you Jim? I’m gonna call you Jim).
Now Jim, from what I’ve been able to gather, you and your Boomer stocks and your Hot Manic Takes don’t always get a lot of love around here. But that’s not all your fault, Jim. The Paste-Eating Rocket Kids are often good for a solid meme (FYI: it’s pronounced “Mee-Mee.” Feel free to use that on air without verifying). But the Rocket Kids can be a dense bunch and they’re also often one click away from Total Financial Ruin (Quick shout out to SPCE: Pleas fly again). So you have to dig a bit in here to separate the wheat from the chaff, as someone like you actually says in real life. What the fuck even is chaff, Jim? And why do all Boomers seem to think that folksy farm-based idioms are the perfect way to conclude a thought?
Anyway. Those of us who watched your teevee clips last week where you reference your interest in WSB know that you, Jim Cramer, might be one of the Olds, but that you also Think Young(TM). https://www.thestreet.com/jim-cramestock-market-advice-moderna-boeing-fed-ftc-dec-15. So we’re going to do our best to help your young-thinkin’ brain find the Needle In the Haystack here so you can get All Your Ducks In a Row on GME. Because we know that you’re a long way from being Put Out to Pasture, and though you may be an out-of-touch millionaire prone to facile yammering, we now like you here, Jim—simply because you mentioned us and that made us blush a bit since we’re needy Millennials who just want our Boomer mommies and daddies to Tell Us They’re Proud of Us. So even though the Paste-Eating Rocket Kids here are often Buying A Pig in a Poke (Christ, please do not ever say that or the kids’ Mee-Mees are gonna fuck you up), we appreciate you recognizing that, every now and then, there’s something worth paying attention to over in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs. And since you’re actually telling your loyal single-finger-typin’ viewers to check out this WSB shitshow, and “if they’re running GME, then do some work on GME,” we assume you might actually be checking this shit out too, since all true Young Thinkers know that What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander.
Now, is the GME play as solid as your recent recommendation to buy Bed Bath and Beyond? Who knows? That seems pretty stupid, and I would look it up myself this weekend but my nice little Saturday is already pretty full so I don’t know—I don’t know if I’ll have enough time. But I’ll tell you one thing: the GME play is a lot more fucking fun. Life in a pandemic is boring, but here in this weird WSB place, these kids like fun. And for all your Boomer weirdness, you seem like you still like to have a little fun in this Mad, Mad world of ours. So consider joining us here more often. A word of warning, though: if you don’t like all the dern cuss words we use around here, Jim, well that’s just, like, your opinion man, and we’ll have you know that the Supreme Court has roundly rejected Prior Restraint.
First thing’s first: we have a bit of a bone to pick with you (now there I go). The stuff you said last week about GME as the next Blockbuster was D-U-M dumb, Jim. You were a bit out of your fucking element with that. You even made our largest shareholder and conqueror-in-waiting, Mr. Ryan Cohen, send an emoji-only tweet in response, which if you know the super nice-guy Ryan Cohen like all of us do (we actually know nothing), that is pretty much the equivalent of him bringing his dog over to micturate on your and George Sherman’s rug.
Now, I myself have never been into the whole brevity thing, but I wanted to take this opportunity to get you up to speed on the GME movie you’ve wandered into. And I know you’re down with this because you told all your viewers that if WSB is talking about GME, then “make sure you know GME.” So before you say something Absolutely Mad again and Cohen sends a tweet with an even less ambiguous emoji, it’s high time that you start Making the Sure here, Jim. Just consider this to be CPT Hubbard delivering you some Orange Sunshine and turning you on to some of that Sweet, Delicious Non-Chaff Wheat you love so goddamn much.
Part 1: GME’s Bonkers-Ass Short Interest
Now, I’m going to lead with the most crowd-pleasing part of the story here (Get ready, Rocket Kids!), and it’s the one that you did not even seem remotely familiar with in your “Stay out of GameStop, Deadbeat!” rant last week. Maybe that was by design or maybe not. We’ll return to that, Jim. But the point here is: the short interest here is batshit insane. And not just your garden variety Boomer in Rolled Up Sleeves Ranting About Buying Estee Lauder While Hitting Buttons On The Beep-Bop-Boop Machine kind of insanity. Really and truly fucking nuts.
So to TL/DR this shit for you, Jim (to use the parlance of our times): GME is the most shorted stock trading today—by far. https://financhill.com/most-heavily-shorted-stocks-today How shorted? Well, the value of shares short exceeds the market cap of the company; there are currently more shares short than the total number of shares outstanding. And when factoring in the institutional and insider ownership, the total short percentage of float is nearly 300%. https://www.gurufocus.com/term/FloatPercentageOfTSO/GME/Float-Percentage-Of-Total-Shares-Outstanding/GameStop-Corp Even higher, actually, now that Cohen’s interest is over 10%. Now, I’m not a numbers whiz like you, but that level of short interest and the small available float seems pretty fucked up to me. Like: “how is that even legal?” fucked up. And just for a frame of reference, the third most shorted security right now is your beloved Bed Bath and Beyond, with a short percentage of float at a nice and tidy 69%.
Are you starting to gather why some of us in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs are a little excited about GME? You see, as u/Jeffamazon and RodAlzmann u/Uberkikz11 and others have explained in these here corners and on the twitter machine with their top-notch DD, and as I will translate to you in lingo you can dig, the short sellers got way over their skiis on this one expecting a bankruptcy in Spring of 2020 that never came. And yet, amazingly, the short interest has only increased since then—there has effectively been no covering in the aggregate and, in fact, the short percentage has only gone up. And now, on the threshold of 2021, we all sit atop a massive powder keg wondering what is going to be the thing that finally lights this shit up. And at the end of this little missive, I’m going to tell you what I think that thing might be (Spoiler: It’s Ryan Cohen! Better start getting used to seeing his name, Jim, because this dude does not fuck around and he’s not going anywhere).
https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/k4csaa/the_real_greatest_short_burn_of_the_century_part/
https://twitter.com/RodAlzmann
https://thecollective.finance/2020/10/gamestop-gme-a-squeeze-to-44-from-14-can-be-justified-fundamentally-100-of-the-shares-are-short-watch-out/
Part 2: GameStop Isn’t Going Bankrupt and People Actually Want to Buy Shit There
So, you foul mouthed little prick, a bonkers-ass short interest is neat and all, but why is Jim Cramer wrong when Jim Cramer compares GME to Blockbuster you might be asking yourself in the third person. First, the most obvious answer, Jim, which you should fucking know already: Blockbuster was nearly $1 Billion in debt and missing debt payments left and right when it was delisted way back in 2010. That was also when there was a bit of a credit crunch, if you recall, right after that whole Housing Crash Unpleasantness that you saw coming from a mile away and from which you made hundreds of millions of dollars due to your contrarian foresight—I’m sorry, I’m clearly confusing you with Christian Bale starring as Dr. Michael Burry, weirdo head of Scion Asset Management, which also holds about 1.4M shares of GME (You really gotta start looking into this stuff, Jim. This story is made for TV, man—and you Boomers were raised by TV and you turned out TV!). Also, in 2010 when Netflix is ripping and when Blockbuster was about to be delisted and bankrupt, an analyst noted the obvious fact that Blockbuster had “nothing on the horizon that makes it look like Blockbuster is going to be more profitable.”
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-blockbusteblockbuster-wins-debt-reprieve-forced-to-delist-idUSTRE66052720100702
But Jim, if your Blockbuster comparison has any plausibility, GameStop must have a major debt problem then, right? And yet just last month GameStop repaid $125M in debt several months ahead of time. It’s also really weird that over the past year management bought back a ton of shares, taking the OS from 102M down to just under 70M (making a short squeeze even more likely, my Rocket Children). The weirdness continues with a soon-to-be-bankrupt company holding almost $500M in cash on hand. And according to George Sherman’s “Thine Omnichannel Shalt Be The Omni-est Channel of Them All” Conference Call following Q3, by March 2021 GME will have retired a total of $500M in debt and returned $200M to shareholders through stock buy backs. I’m no expert here, and I do not presently own a Beep-Bop-Boop Machine, but that’s all pretty weird shit to be doing if you’re about to go bankrupt.
No, no – I get it: who the fuck actually looks at balance sheets anyway before spouting off about what a stock is going to do? I sure as hell don’t. That’s why I follow my man u/Uberkikz11, since that dude is a GME DD Encyclopedia and was born to crunch numbers. No, when Really Smart People make the Blockbuster comparison, it’s usually just Mouth Sounds for: A B&M Store That Used to Be Popular But Now Is Not Because Technology, QED. But here even the Really Smart People might be missing something as well. They’re right in the sense that GME must use this new console cycle window and cash influx to quickly pivot to a tech-first gaming company (more on that and our boy RC shortly!), but they’re wrong on the timing and relevance of this Super Smart Insight.
So fine, they’re doing ok on debt and cash. But who even goes to that 90s-Ass-Looking Cluttered Mall Geekery anymore anyways? I confess: in my darkest moments, as the short sellers manipulate the fuck out of this stock and I curse the names Bell and Sherman, I too have wondered this. But it turns out that, just like I have no idea why anyone listens to Maroon 5 or eats at Applebee’s, apparently a lot of people in America do shit that I do not. Crazy huh? So here is some pretty neat data showing us how out of touch we might be here, Jim:
First, when a pretty large sample size of people were recently asked the question: which of the following stores or websites do you plan to buy holiday gifts from? The #5 response from United States Americans was none other than GameStop (Ticker, Jim: GME). Only Walmart, Amazon, Target, and Dollar Store (poor people buy gifts too, Jim) were ahead of little old GameStop. That’s higher than Nike, Macy’s, the Apple Store—and double the response of Bed Bath and Fucking Beyond in every category they surveyed. Check it: (h/t to my man u/snowk88)
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/260983915
That’s kinda crazy huh? See Jim, when you Think Young(TM), you really can learn something new every day. And by following our man u/snowk88 (@snowk88 over at stocktwits), I learn lots of cool shit. But guess who already knew that? The guy that wrote this bad-ass letter that identifies GME’s brand and customer data as being one of the most valuable things GME has going for it. https://s.wsj.net/public/resources/documents/RC_Ventures_Letter_to_GameStop.pdf
So now we know that Real Life People actually buy shit at GameStop here in the year of our lord 2020. But like that analyst from 2010 said about Blockbuster, there must not be anything on the horizon for GameStop to be more profitable in 2021, right?
Now, I will admit that being a bit bearish on GME in December of 2020 would make more sense if, say, GameStop were the nation’s largest purveyor of limp and half-lit pumpkin spice-scented candles and we were exiting the apogee of Shitty Candle Season. But as it turns out, GameStop is currently selling basically the most sought-after items that exist in the marketplace right now—where demand for the Xbox and Ps5 is far outpacing supply and is projected to continue well into 2021. https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2020-11-17-microsoft-expects-xbox-series-x-s-shortages-until-q2-2021 I don’t really need to get into the details on that here, because it’s pretty goddamn obvious, but I think 2020 GameStop at the precipice of a new console cycle might be in a bit of a better position than, say, 2010 Blockbuster relying on the latest Adam Sandler release to lift its sagging rental numbers. But I don’t know. Millions of people don’t watch my show looking for Candid Analysis from me and my folksy man-of-the-people-lookin’ rolled-up sleeves.
Part 3: Ryan Cohen is the Sword of Damocles Hanging Over the Short Sellers’ Dumbass Heads
And now we’ve gotten to the best part. It’s my favorite part of all of this, Jim, and if you give this a little time, I think it will be yours too. You see, all that corporate bla bla bla about balance sheets and console cycles and early debt repayment and overleveraged short sellers and brand recognition is neat and all—and definitely worth a second look by itself. Maybe even a little Beep-Bop-Boop on the ol’ sound machine—I don’t know your methods. But the real thing that’s about to rip all our faces off here is the business and investment decisions of a mild-mannered wunderkind named Ryan Cohen.
Now you can revisit my prior epistle if you want to know a bit more about the involvement of Mr. Ryan Cohen in Le Affair GameStop. https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kakxrm/gme_tribe_a_story_about_how_ryan_cohen_is_about/. My fly-by-night theory of his lawyer’s possible use of the consent solicitation could have probably marinated for another day, but the thrust of my argument there was that Cohen and his attorney have been laying the groundwork to come after GameStop for a while now. And that Cohen was likely emboldened by the humiliating, lame-ass CC performance by some dude with a mid-century comic-strip sounding name that we’ll all soon know only as: The Guy With the Punchable Face Who Used to Be CEO of GameStop.
But here is where things get really interesting. This is a story in the making, Jim, for fucks sake - take notes! This Monday, on December 21, Mr. Ryan Cohen filed a revised 13D showing that last week he started buying a shit-ton of shares—starting on Tuesday December 15th—which is the day after the stock price inexplicably plunged on Monday the 14th and the very same day you were yammering on the teevee about GME being Blockbuster! Instead of listening to you, however, Cohen started buying more GME shares (super-sleuth dark pool watchers u/rgrAi and u/snowk88 noticed in real-time that there was some very large accumulation taking place), which culminated in the big reveal that Cohen purchased a total of 2,501,000 additional shares last week—500,000 of which were purchased on Friday December 18, 2020 at the price of $16.02 a share. Ryan Cohen is still the single largest shareholder of GME with 9,001,000 shares in total, taking his ownership of GME above the 10% threshold from 9.98% to 12.9%. And so he apparently thinks that the floor for his investment is $16.02 per share. Is he still buying? We’ll know soon. But yesterday seemed like a little taste of what it might look like if a large buyer steps in to prevent short sellers from manipulating all of my nervous little Rocket Children here and their delicate little paper hands.
There was another thing we learned from this 13D filing: Ryan Cohen has apparently hired a new attorney and law firm. Instead of the great Christopher Davis of Kline Kaplan, now Ryan Cohen is represented by Ryan P. Nebel, a partner with Olshan Frome Wolosky, LLP. Now, if you’re familiar with my prior ramblings, you might wonder if I was a bit confused, and maybe even a little sad, at this sudden change from my man C. Davis. And you might be a little right. But then the wonder of the internet allowed me to learn a bit about these new lawyers. And holy shit, things are about to get fun.
Now, I liked what I knew about Chris Davis and he seems like a genuine bad ass activist attorney. But the folks at Olshan Frome and Wolosky, LLP are Next Level Players and really seem tailor-made for this exact situation. First off, Olshan is ranked as the top global lawfirm for Activist Attorneys. https://www.olshanlaw.com/assets/htmldocuments/Bloomberg%20Activism%20League%20Tables%20H12020.pdf (H/t @flummoxed at stocktwits). They seem to be the go-to law firm for major proxy battles initiated by activist investors. But possibly even more important is that Olshan is the same firm that represented Hestia and Permit in their successful proxy battle earlier this year to appoint two new directors to the GME Board. I’m not going into the fine details of that, because this is already a bit of a long-form Idiot’s New Yorker article, but GameStop just went through a proxy fight last year with Activist Investors Hestia Capital and Permit Capital, which resulted in two Board seats for our shareholder buds from Hestia and Permit. So, it’s reasonable to assume that the attorneys at Olshan might know their way around GameStop at this point and where the pressure points are here.
http://www.globallegalchronicle.com/hestia-capital-and-permit-capitals-two-new-directors-to-the-gamestop-board/
https://www.olshanlaw.com/resources-mentions-HestiaCapital-PermitCapital-GameStop-BoardofDirectors-ShareholderActivism.html
And if you follow u/snowk88 over at stocktwits (@snowk88)— you’d also find a wealth of DD on how Olshan rolls when entering these activist-investor-replaces-dumbass-boards-and-CEOs type disputes. To bottom line it: they get it fucking done.
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266158534
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266155112
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266153175
But what else did we learn from the 13D? We learned that Ryan Cohen is definitely not going anywhere any time soon. Specifically, the filing notes that RC Ventures intends to continue to engage in discussions with GameStop’s board “regarding means to drive stockholder value, including through changes to the composition of the board and other corporate governance enhancements." And while RC Ventures “desires to come to an amicable resolution with [GameStop, it] will not hesitate to take any actions that it believes are necessary to protect the best interests of all stockholders.”
I really like that last part, don’t you? And although I thought his November 16th letter was pretty goddamn clear, this 13D just ratcheted up the transparency level here. In sum, Ryan Cohen has all of our backs and he’s going to replace this Board and Sherman with people that are on the level and that will help implement his vision.
And now seems like a good time to return to those “Ryan Cohen: Boy Genius” articles that were definitely NOT part of a well-coordinated pre-hostile takeover media campaign initiated earlier this year. I think there might be a few things in those articles that Mr. Cohen wanted all of us shareholders (as well as the short sellers and the Board he’s about to replace) to really and truly understand. Recall also that Cohen is not one for diversification or for playing it safe. So here’s a few choice nuggets for you to ponder:
***
Bloomberg, June 2020: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-06-05/chewy-founder-cashes-out-bets-on-apple-wells-fargo
· "It's too hard to find, at least for me, what I consider great ideas," he says. "When I find things I have a lot of conviction in, I go all-in."
· Cohen uses the word “conviction” a lot. He says it’s something he learned from his father, who ran a glassware importing business in Montreal where Cohen grew up. “He taught me how to block the noise from the masses,” says Cohen. “To have a point of view and have conviction and not waver.”
· He wouldn’t, however, recommend his [non-diversified] investment approach to everyone. “You need to have the temperament to block the noise,” he says. “Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster.”
· He likens his obsessive focus on building Chewy to his approach to stock picking. "I don't want to swing for a single," he says.
***
You hear that, Jim? Our man Cohen likes idioms too! But fuck those farm idioms, Jim – we’re upgrading to the Sportsball kind now. So what’s the takeaway here? I’d say that Cohen has his Eye On The Ball and that it’s time for all short sellers and the Board to Throw in The Towel because Ryan Goddamn Cohen likes to Take the Bull By The Horns and will ensure that he Hits a Homerun for shareholders that believe in his vision.
Here’s a few more things Mr. Cohen wants all of us to know:
***
Forbes, August 2020: https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2020/08/16/entrepreneur-chewy-founder-ryan-cohen-shares-his-best-advice/?sh=41e1370e5840
· “For me, each no sounded like they just didn’t understand my vision. It was frustrating at times, but never discouraging. Those ‘no’s never made me doubt my strategy – it was the opposite. I was motivated by all the rejections and they just got me fired up.”
· “I understood that thinking big was likely going to be misunderstood along the way. I’m contrarian by nature, so being misunderstood often validates what I’m doing. It wasn’t until Chewy boxes were on doorsteps across the country that the bulk of investors started to recognize our formula.”
· “[M]y biggest risk would have been not taking risk. The risk of going head-to-head against Amazon. The risk of insourcing fulfillment. The risk of building a company in Florida rather than a popular tech hub. The risk of spending $3 million a month on TV ads, more than Home Depot HD -0.1%'s budget. The risk of hiring expensive executives even though we weren’t profitable. These decisions were some of the most controversial and required me being comfortable betting against conventional wisdom, and were often contrary to the advice of my board. Suffice it to say, I was not the most popular board member.”
· “Dad never swayed when he believed in something. I never compromised my vision, regardless how many investors turned me down I was not going to give up on building Chewy into the world’s biggest online pet retailer. I love to be challenged, and I’m flexible on details, but I’m never willing to give up.”
***
Goddamn it, Ryan. I was done having children but now you’ve forced me into getting back on that train just so I can name this future child Ryan Fucking Cohen. Thanks a lot, asshole.
But to return to my point: are those the statements of a man that seems likely to walk away at this point? Or is Cohen trying to tell us all to get ready because he is going All In on this shit?
So where does this leave us? After a huge week where Cohen buys 2.5M more shares and then the SP skyrockets to $20 yesterday on that news? Well, this is where I want to tip my cap to my man Justin Dopierala over at Seeking Alpha and allow him to conclude this section. He, along with his pal Dmitriy Kozin have been pretty clear-eyed on all this shit for a while now and they both deserve some credit. And I know I gave my main man Justin a bit of a hard time in my last novella, but the dude is sharp as hell and helped a lot of us see the forest through the trees here. And you should also definitely invite him to join your poker nights (seriously: check out the dude’s tweet in response to our own Rod Alzmann’s introduction of the #WeWantCohen hashtag right after the Q3 call debacle). https://twitter.com/DOMOCAPITAL/status/1336446055685230592. You have no comment on a potential takeover involving Ryan Cohen, Justin after your hour-long googly-eyed call together? Can’t believe you’re just preemptively leaving the WSJ and Bloomberg hanging like that. Justin, I love you dude, but if I’m holding pocket Kings I’m folding after that tweet because that twinkle in your eye lets me know you’re about to drop two Aces on my ass.
Anyway. Here is what our man Dopierala thinks might happen here soon (and he called this way back on November 17th- and sorry - no links here, per the mods, as apparently no Alpha must ever be Sought from these parts):
I think a very likely outcome at this point is a majority slate next shareholder meeting where Cohen takes over BOD and then makes himself CEO. A majority slate proxy battle would require all institutions to call in shares and would force a squeeze.
We’re intrigued, Justin. Please continue:
If Ryan Cohen successfully negotiates a purchase price with the Board then the shareholders will have to vote on it. Unlike the proxy battle where Hestia and Permit were running a minority slate of directors, an offer to purchase GameStop would force institutions like Vanguard and Blackrock to call in their shares. By doing so, the shorts would be forced to close out their positions and GameStop would finally have the greatest short squeeze of all-time. Ironically, Cohen could use this opportunity to sell all of his shares and use the proceeds to entirely fund the acquisition of GameStop going down as the first person in history to acquire a billion dollar company... for absolutely nothing. In fact, his acquisition price would be less than zero.
And now is when I get to speculate on what I think is going to happen here. But I do not necessarily think Cohen is going to put an offer to buy GME to take private. That would definitely trigger a MOASS, but I’m not sure I see it given the attorneys he’s hired and his recent buys up to $16 and the amount of cash that would take. Like Dopierala’s first comment, though, I think Cohen is going to nominate directors to replace nearly the entire Board of Directors with a vote happening at the annual meeting and once that Board is in place, they’ll appoint Cohen as CEO. And as Justin notes, if he nominates a majority slate of directors, shares will have to be called in to vote. And this vote and proxy battle will make the prior minority slate Hesita/Permit battle, and the tiny short squeeze that took place when that happened, look tame by comparison.
Now everyone: get your calendars out. Because the date to nominate directors here is in Mid-March, and my super-smart corporate lawyer buds inform me that it’s standard practice to file about 7-10 days prior. So, if this actually happening, we should be seeing something on this by early March.
But even though early March is now the mark on the wall, today’s insane price action caused me to think about all of this a bit harder and speculate a bit more. And a major h/t to my buds on the stocktwits board, especially u/rgrAi (@amarbar) for all the sharp analysis on this. But if you were Ryan Cohen and you knew this company was hugely undervalued and you had a high level of CONVICTION here and also knew you needed shareholder votes to sweep out these dumbasses and implement your vision—then how would you play this with the short interest here as crazy as it is? I’d keep buying. Why? Well, lots of reasons, you smart alecks.
First, so I have more guaranteed votes (duh?). Second, so that when the building starts burning and short hedge funds run for the exits they find that a mild-mannered Millennial with super-good ideas has sealed off all the doors and windows. That’s gruesomely delicious, isn’t it? Why else, CPT? Well, finally, and maybe most importantly, because I would want to excite and delight all my fellow shareholders by triggering a slow-burn short squeeze, raising the SP significantly, so that I can once again make the point (as he did in the Nov 16 letter) that the incompetent management that caused a HUGE drop in SP following that utterly incompetent Q3 call and the shelf registration, had nothing to do with the SP increase that again happened once Cohen announced his intent and started buying. Not the console cycle, not the cost containment measures, not the buybacks and not the early debt reduction. Nope: rightly or wrongly, shareholders will see Ryan Cohen buying shares and the corresponding SP increase and everyone—especially all new buyers who are delighted at their good fortune and swept up by Ryan Cohen Fever 2021—will start getting #WeWantCohen tattoos on their ass they’ll be so happy. And all of us, newly enriched by Ryan Cohen’s Big Canadian Balls and tactical brilliance, will crawl over glass to vote for him over The Boomer Artist Formally Known As GameStop’s CEO. I could be very wrong on this last point in particular, but if we start seeing 13Ds drop here shortly, things should get very fun very quickly.
Part 4: A Return to Our Short-Squeeze-to-Da-Moon Discussion: Who’s Side Are You Fucking On, Jim?
Now, Jim, given the fast friendship we’re creating here, and all we’ve been through over the past 5000 words, I hesitate in bringing this up. But we’ve all seen the video, Jim. You know the one I’m talking about. Yes, the one where you actually tell the truth about how short selling hedge funds manipulate the market to knock down the price of perfectly good securities that many hard-working people invest in—many normal-ass people all assuming they wont ever have to Point Where On The Dolly The Invisible Hand of the Economy Touched Them. But that’s not life now is it Jim? And fuck those poor-ass rubes for not knowing how to play the game with you sophisticated Masters of the Universe, amirite?
https://www.reddit.com/dashpay/comments/93evx4/jim_cramer_reveals_dirty_tricks_short_sellers_use/
https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/cramer-market-manipulato
So where are you in this whole GME/Cohen story, Jim? You candidly (gleefully?) acknowledge that a prime strategy that shorts deploy is to spread negative rumors that are then amplified by Big Smart Trustworthy Financial Media Titans like yourself to shake out unsophisticated retail players like my Rocket Kids here—who because of their tiny paper hands and you mean short selling brutes often subsist on paste and paste alone.
So for this particular security, are you the one helping with the manipulation and actively creating the “new truth” or are you just one of the Useful Idiots that these short sellers use to manipulate with an anodyne, TV media-ready comparison like: GameStop Is The Next Blockbuster? And how in the fuck does this fit into your Think Young(TM) project, Jim? Because if there is one thing that we over at WSB fucking hate, it’s a bunch of Manipulative Short Selling Boomer Fuckwads. Why on earth would a hip Young Thinker like you want to be included in that crew, Jim?
And I know we’re all friends here now, Jim, but I need to push back a bit on some of what you said in that video in such a cavalier whatareyagonnado manner. So if I understand you, short and distort and fomenting negative reactions from retail players based on deliberately false narratives is illegal, but still easy as fuck to do "because the SEC doesn't understand it." But you fucking do understand it, Jim! So why are you helping those short and distorters break the law here? Why are you being such an obtuse dumbshit? Just check out what happens to the borrow rate and short selling every time there is any good news for GME:
https://stocktwits.com/Slantedangles/message/264519950 (h/t @slantedangles). This manipulation isn't just happening with GME; it is happening everywhere. It’s baked into the cake. And that is pretty fucked up that we all just accept it because whatareyagonnado.
I think that one thing that those of us who truly do Think Young(TM) have a hard time understanding is at what point in your lives do you Boomers all finally come to realize that it’s maybe time to stop playing the game like you have been? What point do you finally have enough where doing the right thing matters more than getting paid? Maybe start by telling the truth more often—and maybe don’t go out of your way to help those corrupt-ass hedge fund managers who continually fuck over average people merely because they were stupid enough to believe you all. What contempt you Masters of the Universe have for all of them—for all of us. There is a bigger story here on GME and this out-of-control short interest (naked shorting, counterfeit shares) http://counterfeitingstock.com/CS2.0/CounterfeitingStock.html than even Ryan Cohen and the inevitable short squeeze we’re about to witness here. And it begins and ends with people like you and Melvin Capital and Bank of America not giving a fuck about the rules while thinking you’re smarter than the rest of us who do—but who lack power to do anything about it. And you know what? Maybe you are smarter than us. You certainly know how to play this game pretty well, as that video shows. But if I know my old school 1980s movies like I think I do, this is usually the part of the story where the rag-tag kids from across the tracks come over to show you hubristic rich fuckheads what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
Now I myself have never dabbled in pacifism, Jim, so this isn’t too much of a stretch for me, but seeing that video of yours and seeing the insane short interest and all the manipulation here makes me want to burn the whole corrupt system to the ground—while barricading the doors to trap in those arrogant-ass short sellers who lie and cheat and distort to profit off average people. And though I’m certain that this larger battle is not driving him, maybe that result is one that Ryan Cohen wouldn’t mind too. Though he’s a polite Canadian and would probably just let everyone know that he’s not really mad, just disappointed. But me? I’m an Angry American and I say: Block the fucking doors and windows and light that shit up.
So maybe this epistle will be useful for your Think Young(TM) project and cause you to reflect a bit more on what’s really going on out there with this whole GME thing and the likely illegal shorting that has driven the short percentage of float to these insane levels, drawing in new retail shorts too stupid to know what’s even happening. Or maybe it wont cause you to reflect in the slightest (count me as one of those cynical types that see your overtures to WSB as a transparent play for greater market share from the Young Crowd since your old-ass audience is dying and/or switching to bonds). But in a few months when all the Billy Ray Valentines and Louis Winthorpes assembled here are toasting each other in stupid shirts on a white-sand beach somewhere, we do not want you to look back on your knee-jerk boomer-ass dismissal of GME and your Useful Idiot blathering with that same tinge of regret and longing you feel when you look at a pre-Client 9 picture of you and your old roomie: warm-toes-and-hosiery-enthusiast E. Spitzer, Esq.
In conclusion: GME = Blockbuster comparisons are for Simps and Corrupt Short-and-Distorters. Don’t be like them, Jim. And to my Rocket Children: the only weapon we wield in this stupid game is Diamond Hands with a float like this. Toughen the fuck up.
And Happy Holidays everyone.
--CPT Hubbard
TL/DR: Jim Cramer likes farm-based idioms and apparently being a useful idiot to scummy short selling hedge funds. DD on the GME turnaround is solid and overleveraged short sellers should be shitting themselves. Ryan Cohen, our polite, hard-working Canadian benefactor is about to rip all our fucking faces off and trigger a MOASS. Probably even by early March, if that time is good for you (he’ll text before he comes). And fuck infinite regress: It’s rockets all the way down here. 🚀🚀🚀 Now: diamond hands, motherfuckers.
**This is a shitpost and is only to be used as investment and life advice for Mr. Jim Cramer, Esq.

NEW INFO 5 Results from share redemption are posted. Less than .2% redeemed. Very bullish as investors are showing extreme confidence in the future of PLBY.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/playboy-mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-120000721.html
NEW INFO 4 Definitive Agreement to purchase 100% of Lovers brand stores announced 2/1.
https://www.streetinsider.com/Corporate+News/Playboy+%28MCAC%29+Confirms+Deal+to+Acquire+Lovers/17892359.html
NEW INFO 3 I bought more on the dip today. 5081 total. Price rose AH to $12.38 (2.15%)
NEW INFO 2 Here is the full webinar.
https://icrinc.zoom.us/rec/play/9GWKdmOYumjWfZuufW3QXpe_FW_g--qeNbg6PnTjTMbnNTgLmCbWjeRFpQga1iPc-elpGap8dnDv8Zww.yD7DjUwuPmapeEdP?continueMode=true&tk=lEYc4F_FkKlgsmCIs6w0gtGHT2kbgVGbUju3cIRBSjk.DQIAAAAV8NK49xZWdldRM2xNSFNQcTBmcE00UzM3bXh3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA&uuid=WN_GKWqbHkeSyuWetJmLFkj4g&_x_zm_rtaid=kR45-uuqRE-L65AxLjpbQw.1611967079119.2c054e3d3f8d8e63339273d9175939ed&_x_zm_rhtaid=866
NEW INFO 1 Live merger webinar with PLBY and MCAC on Friday January 29, 2021 at 12:00 NOON EST link below
https://mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/press-release-details/2021/Playboy-Enterprises-Inc.-and-Mountain-Crest-Acquisition-Corp-Participate-in-SPACInsider-ICR-Webinar-on-January-29th-at-12pm-ET/default.aspx
Playboy going public: Porn, Gambling, and Cannabis
!!!WARNING READING AHEAD!!! TL;DR at the end. It will take some time to sort through all the links and read/watch everything, but you should.
In the next couple weeks, Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp is taking Playboy public. The existing ticker MCAC will become PLBY. Special purpose acquisition companies have taken private companies public in recent months with great success. I believe this will be no exception. Notably, Playboy is profitable and has skyrocketing revenue going into a transformational growth phase.
Porn - First and foremost, let's talk about porn. I know what you guys are thinking. “Porno mags are dead. Why would I want to invest in something like that? I can get porn for free online.” Guess what? You are absolutely right. And that’s exactly why Playboy doesn’t do that anymore. That’s right, they eliminated their print division. And yet they somehow STILL make money from porn that people (see: boomers) pay for on their website through PlayboyTV, Playboy Plus, and iPlayboy. Here’s the thing: Playboy has international, multi-generational name recognition from porn. They have content available in 180 countries. It will be the only publicly traded adult entertainment (porn) company. But that is not where this company is going. It will help support them along the way. You can see every Playboy magazine through iPlayboy if you’re interested. NSFW links below:
https://www.playboy.com/
https://www.playboytv.com/
https://www.playboyplus.com/
https://www.iplayboy.com/
Gambling - Some of you might recognize the Playboy brand from gambling trips to places like Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Cancun, London or Macau. They’ve been in the gambling biz for decades through their casinos, clubs, and licensed gaming products. They see the writing on the wall. COVID is accelerating the transition to digital, application based GAMBLING. That’s right. What we are doing on Robinhood with risky options is gambling, and the only reason regulators might give a shit anymore is because we are making too much money. There may be some restrictions put in place, but gambling from your phone on your couch is not going anywhere. More and more states are allowing things like Draftkings, poker, state ‘lottery” apps, hell - even political betting. Michigan and Virginia just ok’d gambling apps. They won’t be the last. This is all from your couch and any 18 year old with a cracked iphone can access it. Wouldn’t it be cool if Playboy was going to do something like that? They’re already working on it. As per CEO Ben Kohn who we will get to later, “...the company’s casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth.” Honestly, I stopped researching Scientific Games' sports betting segment when I saw the word ‘omni-channel’. That told me all I needed to know about it’s success.
“Our SG Sports™ platform is an enhanced, omni-channel solution for online, self-service and retail fixed odds sports betting – from soccer to tennis, basketball, football, baseball, hockey, motor sports, racing and more.”
https://www.scientificgames.com/
https://www.microgaming.co.uk/
“This latter segment has become increasingly enticing for Playboy, and it said last week that it is considering new tie-ups that could include gaming operators like PointsBet and 888Holdings.”
https://calvinayre.com/2020/10/05/business/playboys-gaming-ops-could-get-a-boost-from-spac-purchase/
As per their SEC filing:
“Significant consumer engagement and spend with Playboy-branded gaming properties around the world, including with leading partners such as Microgaming, Scientific Games, and Caesar’s Entertainment, steers our investment in digital gaming, sports betting and other digital offerings to further support our commercial strategy to expand consumer spend with minimal marginal cost, and gain consumer data to inform go-to-market plans across categories.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tMDAA1
They are expanding into more areas of gaming/gambling, working with international players in the digital gaming/gambling arena, and a Playboy sportsbook is on the horizon.
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-pleasure-of-playing-with-yourself-mobile-gaming-in-the-covid-era
Cannabis - If you’ve ever read through a Playboy magazine, you know they’ve had a positive relationship with cannabis for many years. As of September 2020, Playboy has made a major shift into the cannabis space. Too good to be true you say? Check their website. Playboy currently sells a range of CBD products. This is a good sign. Federal hemp products, which these most likely are, can be mailed across state lines and most importantly for a company like Playboy, can operate through a traditional banking institution. CBD products are usually the first step towards the cannabis space for large companies. Playboy didn’t make these products themselves meaning they are working with a processor in the cannabis industry. Another good sign for future expansion. What else do they have for sale? Pipes, grinders, ashtrays, rolling trays, joint holders. Hmm. Ok. So it looks like they want to sell some shit. They probably don’t have an active interest in cannabis right? Think again:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/09/24/playboy-gets-serious-about-cannabis-law-reform-advocacy-with-new-partnership-grants/?sh=62f044a65cea
“Taking yet another step into the cannabis space, Playboy will be announcing later on Thursday (September, 2020) that it is launching a cannabis law reform and advocacy campaign in partnership with National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), Last Prisoner Project, Marijuana Policy Project, the Veterans Cannabis Project, and the Eaze Momentum Program.”
“According to information procured exclusively, the three-pronged campaign will focus on calling for federal legalization. The program also includes the creation of a mentorship plan, through which the Playboy Foundation will support entrepreneurs from groups that are underrepresented in the industry.” Remember that CEO Kohn from earlier? He wrote this recently:
https://medium.com/naked-open-letters-from-playboy/congress-must-pass-the-more-act-c867c35239ae
Seems like he really wants weed to be legal? Hmm wonder why? The writing's on the wall my friends. Playboy wants into the cannabis industry, they are making steps towards this end, and we have favorable conditions for legislative progress.
Don’t think branding your own cannabis line is profitable or worthwhile? Tell me why these 41 celebrity millionaires and billionaires are dummies. I’ll wait.
https://www.celebstoner.com/news/celebstoner-news/2019/07/12/top-celebrity-cannabis-brands/
Confirmation: I hear you. “This all seems pretty speculative. It would be wildly profitable if they pull this shift off. But how do we really know?” Watch this whole video:
https://finance.yahoo.com/video/playboy-ceo-telling-story-female-154907068.html
Man - this interview just gets my juices flowing. And highlights one of my favorite reasons for this play. They have so many different business avenues from which a catalyst could appear. I think paying attention, holding shares, and options on these staggered announcements over the next year is the way I am going to go about it. "There's definitely been a shift to direct-to-consumer," he (Kohn) said. "About 50 percent of our revenue today is direct-to-consumer, and that will continue to grow going forward.” “Kohn touted Playboy's portfolio of both digital and consumer products, with casino-style gaming, in particular, serving a crucial role under the company's new business model. Playboy also has its sights on the emerging cannabis market, from CBD products to marijuana products geared toward sexual health and pleasure.” "If THC does become legal in the United States, we have developed certain strains to enhance your sex life that we will launch," Kohn said. https://cheddar.com/media/playboy-goes-public-health-gaming-lifestyle-focus Oh? The CEO actually said it? Ok then. “We have developed certain strains…” They’re already working with growers on strains and genetics? Ok. There are several legal cannabis markets for those products right now, international and stateside. I expect Playboy licensed hemp and THC pre-rolls by EOY. Something like this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/842996758/10-playboy-pre-roll-tubes-limited?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pre+roll+playboy&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1 Maintaining cannabis operations can be costly and a regulatory headache. Playboy’s licensing strategy allows them to pick successful, established partners and sidestep traditional barriers to entry. You know what I like about these new markets? They’re expanding. Worldwide. And they are going to be a bigger deal than they already are with or without Playboy. Who thinks weed and gambling are going away? Too many people like that stuff. These are easy markets. And Playboy is early enough to carve out their spot in each. Fuck it, read this too: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimosman/2020/10/20/playboy-could-be-the-king-of-spacs-here-are-three-picks/?sh=2e13dcaa3e05
Numbers: You want numbers? I got numbers. As per the company’s most recent SEC filing:
“For the year ended December 31, 2019, and the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s historical consolidated revenue was $78.1 million and $101.3 million, respectively, historical consolidated net income (loss) was $(23.6) million and $(4.8) million, respectively, and Adjusted EBITDA was $13.1 million and $21.8 million, respectively.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Licensing segment contributed $44.2 million in revenue and $31.1 million in net income.”
“In the ninth months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Direct-to-Consumer segment contributed $40.2 million in revenue and net income of $0.1 million.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Digital Subscriptions and Content segment contributed $15.4 million in revenue and net income of $7.4 million.”
They are profitable across all three of their current business segments.
“Playboy’s return to the public markets presents a transformed, streamlined and high-growth business. The Company has over $400 million in cash flows contracted through 2029, sexual wellness products available for sale online and in over 10,000 major retail stores in the US, and a growing variety of clothing and branded lifestyle and digital gaming products.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
Growth: Playboy has massive growth in China and massive growth potential in India. “In China, where Playboy has spent more than 25 years building its business, our licensees have an enormous footprint of nearly 2,500 brick and mortar stores and 1,000 ecommerce stores selling high quality, Playboy-branded men’s casual wear, shoes/footwear, sleepwear, swimwear, formal suits, leather & non-leather goods, sweaters, active wear, and accessories. We have achieved significant growth in China licensing revenues over the past several years in partnership with strong licensees and high-quality manufacturers, and we are planning for increased growth through updates to our men’s fashion lines and expansion into adjacent categories in men’s skincare and grooming, sexual wellness, and women’s fashion, a category where recent launches have been well received.” The men’s market in China is about the same size as the entire population of the United States and European Union combined. Playboy is a leading brand in this market. They are expanding into the women’s market too. Did you know CBD toothpaste is huge in China? China loves CBD products and has hemp fields that dwarf those in the US. If Playboy expands their CBD line China it will be huge. Did you know the gambling money in Macau absolutely puts Las Vegas to shame? Technically, it's illegal on the mainland, but in reality, there is a lot of gambling going on in China. https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/10/19/magic-johnson-and-uncle-buds-cbd-brand-enter-china-via-tmall-partnership/?sh=271776ca411e “In India, Playboy today has a presence through select apparel licensees and hospitality establishments. Consumer research suggests significant growth opportunities in the territory with Playboy’s brand and categories of focus.” “Playboy Enterprises has announced the expansion of its global consumer products business into India as part of a partnership with Jay Jay Iconic Brands, a leading fashion and lifestyle Company in India.” “The Indian market today is dominated by consumers under the age of 35, who represent more than 65 percent of the country’s total population and are driving India’s significant online shopping growth. The Playboy brand’s core values of playfulness and exploration resonate strongly with the expressed desires of today’s younger millennial consumers. For us, Playboy was the perfect fit.” “The Playboy international portfolio has been flourishing for more than 25 years in several South Asian markets such as China and Japan. In particular, it has strategically targeted the millennial and gen-Z audiences across categories such as apparel, footwear, home textiles, eyewear and watches.” https://www.licenseglobal.com/industry-news/playboy-expands-global-footprint-india It looks like they gave COVID the heisman in terms of net damage sustained: “Although Playboy has not suffered any material adverse consequences to date from the COVID-19 pandemic, the business has been impacted both negatively and positively. The remote working and stay-at-home orders resulted in the closure of the London Playboy Club and retail stores of Playboy’s licensees, decreasing licensing revenues in the second quarter, as well as causing supply chain disruption and less efficient product development thereby slowing the launch of new products. However, these negative impacts were offset by an increase in Yandy’s direct-to-consumer sales, which have benefited in part from overall increases in online retail sales so far during the pandemic.” Looks like the positives are long term (Yandy acquisition) and the negatives are temporary (stay-at-home orders).
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921006093/tm213766-1_defa14a.htm
This speaks to their ability to maintain a financially solvent company throughout the transition phase to the aforementioned areas. They’d say some fancy shit like “expanded business model to encompass four key revenue streams: Sexual Wellness, Style & Apparel, Gaming & Lifestyle, and Beauty & Grooming.” I hear “we’re just biding our time with these trinkets until those dollar dollar bill y’all markets are fully up and running.” But the truth is these existing revenue streams are profitable, scalable, and rapidly expanding Playboy’s e-commerce segment around the world.
"Even in the face of COVID this year, we've been able to grow EBITDA over 100 percent and revenue over 68 percent, and I expect that to accelerate going into 2021," he said. “Playboy is accelerating its growth in company-owned and branded consumer products in attractive and expanding markets in which it has a proven history of brand affinity and consumer spend.”
Also in the SEC filing, the Time Frame:
“As we detailed in the definitive proxy statement, the SPAC stockholder meeting to vote on the transaction has been set for February 9th, and, subject to stockholder approval and satisfaction of the other closing conditions, we expect to complete the merger and begin trading on NASDAQ under ticker PLBY shortly thereafter,” concluded Kohn.
The Players: Suhail “The Whale” Rizvi (HMFIC), Ben “The Bridge” Kohn (CEO), “lil” Suying Liu & “Big” Dong Liu (Young-gun China gang). I encourage you to look these folks up. The real OG here is Suhail Rizvi. He’s from India originally and Chairman of the Board for the new PLBY company. He was an early investor in Twitter, Square, Facebook and others. His firm, Rizvi Traverse, currently invests in Instacart, Pinterest, Snapchat, Playboy, and SpaceX. Maybe you’ve heard of them. “Rizvi, who owns a sprawling three-home compound in Greenwich, Connecticut, and a 1.65-acre estate in Palm Beach, Florida, near Bill Gates and Michael Bloomberg, moved to Iowa Falls when he was five. His father was a professor of psychology at Iowa. Along with his older brother Ashraf, a hedge fund manager, Rizvi graduated from Wharton business school.” “Suhail Rizvi: the 47-year-old 'unsocial' social media baron: When Twitter goes public in the coming weeks (2013), one of the biggest winners will be a 47-year-old financier who guards his secrecy so zealously that he employs a person to take down his Wikipedia entry and scrub his photos from the internet. In IPO, Twitter seeks to be 'anti-FB'” “Prince Alwaleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia looks like a big Twitter winner. So do the moneyed clients of Jamie Dimon. But as you’ve-got-to-be-joking wealth washed over Twitter on Thursday — a company that didn’t exist eight years ago was worth $31.7 billion after its first day on the stock market — the non-boldface name of the moment is Suhail R. Rizvi. Mr. Rizvi, 47, runs a private investment company that is the largest outside investor in Twitter with a 15.6 percent stake worth $3.8 billion at the end of trading on Thursday (November, 2013). Using a web of connections in the tech industry and in finance, as well as a hearty dose of good timing, he brought many prominent names in at the ground floor, including the Saudi prince and some of JPMorgan’s wealthiest clients.” https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/technology/at-twitter-working-behind-the-scenes-toward-a-billion-dollar-payday.html Y’all like that Arab money? How about a dude that can call up Saudi Princes and convince them to spend? Funniest shit about I read about him: “Rizvi was able to buy only $100 million in Facebook shortly before its IPO, thus limiting his returns, according to people with knowledge of the matter.” Poor guy :(
He should be fine with the 16 million PLBY shares he's going to have though :)
Shuhail also has experience in the entertainment industry. He’s invested in companies like SESAC, ICM, and Summit Entertainment. He’s got Hollywood connections to blast this stuff post-merger. And he’s at least partially responsible for that whole Twilight thing. I’m team Edward btw.
I really like what Suhail has done so far. He’s lurked in the shadows while Kohn is consolidating the company, trimming the fat, making Playboy profitable, and aiming the ship at modern growing markets.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-twitter-ipo-rizvi-insight/insight-little-known-hollywood-investor-poised-to-score-with-twitter-ipo-idUSBRE9920VW20131003
Ben “The Bridge” Kohn is an interesting guy. He’s the connection between Rizvi Traverse and Playboy. He’s both CEO of Playboy and was previously Managing Partner at Rizvi Traverse. Ben seems to be the voice of the Playboy-Rizvi partnership, which makes sense with Suhail’s privacy concerns. Kohn said this:
“Today is a very big day for all of us at Playboy and for all our partners globally. I stepped into the CEO role at Playboy in 2017 because I saw the biggest opportunity of my career. Playboy is a brand and platform that could not be replicated today. It has massive global reach, with more than $3B of global consumer spend and products sold in over 180 countries. Our mission – to create a culture where all people can pursue pleasure – is rooted in our 67-year history and creates a clear focus for our business and role we play in people’s lives, providing them with the products, services and experiences that create a lifestyle of pleasure. We are taking this step into the public markets because the committed capital will enable us to accelerate our product development and go-to-market strategies and to more rapidly build our direct to consumer capabilities,” said Ben Kohn, CEO of Playboy.
“Playboy today is a highly profitable commerce business with a total addressable market projected in the trillions of dollars,” Mr. Kohn continued, “We are actively selling into the Sexual Wellness consumer category, projected to be approximately $400 billion in size by 2024, where our recently launched intimacy products have rolled out to more than 10,000 stores at major US retailers in the United States. Combined with our owned & operated ecommerce Sexual Wellness initiatives, the category will contribute more than 40% of our revenue this year. In our Apparel and Beauty categories, our collaborations with high-end fashion brands including Missguided and PacSun are projected to achieve over $50M in retail sales across the US and UK this year, our leading men’s apparel lines in China expanded to nearly 2500 brick and mortar stores and almost 1000 digital stores, and our new men’s and women’s fragrance line recently launched in Europe. In Gaming, our casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth. Our product strategy is informed by years of consumer data as we actively expand from a purely licensing model into owning and operating key high-growth product lines focused on driving profitability and consumer lifetime value. We are thrilled about the future of Playboy. Our foundation has been set to drive further growth and margin, and with the committed capital from this transaction and our more than $180M in NOLs, we will take advantage of the opportunity in front of us, building to our goal of $100M of adjusted EBITDA in 2025.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
Also, according to their Form 4s, “Big” Dong Liu and “lil” Suying Liu just loaded up with shares last week. These guys are brothers and seem like the Chinese market connection. They are only 32 & 35 years old. I don’t even know what that means, but it's provocative.
https://www.secform4.com/insider-trading/1832415.htm
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-ii-002600994.html
Y’all like that China money?
“Mr. Liu has been the Chief Financial Officer of Dongguan Zhishang Photoelectric Technology Co., Ltd., a regional designer, manufacturer and distributor of LED lights serving commercial customers throughout Southern China since November 2016, at which time he led a syndicate of investments into the firm. Mr. Liu has since overseen the financials of Dongguan Zhishang as well as provided strategic guidance to its board of directors, advising on operational efficiency and cash flow performance. From March 2010 to October 2016, Mr. Liu was the Head of Finance at Feidiao Electrical Group Co., Ltd., a leading Chinese manufacturer of electrical outlets headquartered in Shanghai and with businesses in the greater China region as well as Europe.”
Dr. Suying Liu, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp., commented, “Playboy is a unique and compelling investment opportunity, with one of the world’s largest and most recognized brands, its proven consumer affinity and spend, and its enormous future growth potential in its four product segments and new and existing geographic regions. I am thrilled to be partnering with Ben and his exceptional team to bring his vision to fruition.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
These guys are good. They have a proven track record of success across multiple industries. Connections and money run deep with all of these guys. I don’t think they’re in the game to lose.
I was going to write a couple more paragraphs about why you should have a look at this but really the best thing you can do is read this SEC filing from a couple days ago. It explains the situation in far better detail. Specifically, look to page 137 and read through their strategy. Also, look at their ownership percentages and compensation plans including the stock options and their prices. The financials look great, revenue is up 90% Q3, and it looks like a bright future.
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
I’m hesitant to attach this because his position seems short term, but I’m going to with a warning because he does hit on some good points (two are below his link) and he’s got a sizable position in this thing (500k+ on margin, I think). I don’t know this guy but he did look at the same publicly available info and make roughly the same prediction, albeit without the in depth gambling or cannabis mention. You can also search reddit for ‘MCAC’ and very few relevant results come up and none of them even come close to really looking at this thing.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gOvAd6lebs452hFlWWbxVjQ3VMsjGBkbJeXRwDwIJfM/edit?usp=sharing
“Also, before you people start making claims that Playboy is a “boomer” company, STOP RIGHT THERE. This is not a good argument. Simply put. The only thing that matters is Playboy’s name recognition, not their archaic business model which doesn’t even exist anymore as they have completely repurposed their business.”
“Imagine not buying $MCAC at a 400M valuation lol. Streetwear department is worth 1B alone imo.”
Considering the ridiculous Chinese growth as a lifestyle brand, he’s not wrong.
Current Cultural Significance and Meme Value: A year ago I wouldn’t have included this section but the events from the last several weeks (even going back to tsla) have proven that a company’s ability to meme and/or gain social network popularity can have an effect. Tik-tok, Snapchat, Twitch, Reddit, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter. They all have Playboy stuff on them. Kids in middle and highschool know what Playboy is but will likely never see or touch one of the magazines in person. They’ll have a Playboy hoodie though. Crazy huh? A lot like GME, PLBY would hugely benefit from meme-value stock interest to drive engagement towards their new business model while also building strategic coffers. This interest may not directly and/or significantly move the stock price but can generate significant interest from larger players who will.
Bull Case: The year is 2025. Playboy is now the world leader pleasure brand. They began by offering Playboy licensed gaming products, including gambling products, direct to consumers through existing names. By 2022, demand has skyrocketed and Playboy has designed and released their own gambling platforms. In 2025, they are also a leading cannabis brand in the United States and Canada with proprietary strains and products geared towards sexual wellness. Cannabis was legalized in the US in 2023 when President Biden got glaucoma but had success with cannabis treatment. He personally pushes for cannabis legalization as he steps out of office after his first term. Playboy has also grown their brand in China and India to multi-billion per year markets. The stock goes up from 11ish to 100ish and everyone makes big gains buying somewhere along the way.
Bear Case: The United States does a complete 180 on marijuana and gambling. President Biden overdoses on marijuana in the Lincoln bedroom when his FDs go tits up and he loses a ton of money in his sports book app after the Fighting Blue Hens narrowly lose the National Championship to Bama. Playboy is unable to expand their cannabis and gambling brands but still does well with their worldwide lifestyle brand. They gain and lose some interest in China and India but the markets are too large to ignore them completely. The stock goes up from 11ish to 13ish and everyone makes 15-20% gains.
TL;DR: Successful technology/e-commerce investment firm took over Playboy to turn it into a porn, online gambling/gaming, sports book, cannabis company, worldwide lifestyle brand that promotes sexual wellness, vetern access, women-ownership, minority-ownership, and “pleasure for all”. Does a successful online team reinventing an antiquated physical copy giant sound familiar? No options yet, shares only for now. $11.38 per share at time of writing. My guess? $20 by the end of February. $50 by EOY. This is not financial advice. I am not qualified to give financial advice. I’m just sayin’ I would personally use a Playboy sports book app while smoking a Playboy strain specific joint and it would be cool if they did that. Do your own research. You’d probably want to start here:
WARNING - POTENTIALLY NSFW - SEXY MODELS AHEAD - no actual nudity though
https://s26.q4cdn.com/895475556/files/doc_presentations/Playboy-Craig-Hallum-Conference-Investor-Presentation-11_17_20-compressed.pdf
Or here:
https://www.mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/default.aspx
Jimmy Chill: “Get into any SPAC at $10 or $11 and you are going to make money.”
STL;DR: Buy MCAC. MCAC > PLBY couple weeks. Rocketship. Moon.
Position: 5000 shares. I will buy short, medium, and long-dated calls once available.

After my night in the underground tomb, I had collapsed in the lab, because it had seemed like the only place I could go.
I don't know if I dreamed of anything but I was awakened by the strange idea that I was hearing food talking to me. One voice getting louder finally woke me enough to realise I was stiff and sore from a strange sleeping position. I tried moving and found myself wedged into a ball, which reminded me I was in a cardboard box. A voice came closer and called my name. Rushana's voice.
Vague shapes surrounding me collapsed into more defined forms. Surfaces became clear, and the lab resolved around me in an unfamiliar orientation. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the underside of my desk, and some faint grey window light peeking in. I mentally groaned and moved to tip the box on its side, which helped wake me up a bit more. I saw the wheels of my chair in front of my face and further away two pairs of shoes, the smaller of which were Rushana's. My backpack was still in my arms, and I slowly pulled it open and dragged the binders out one by one, pushing them out from under the desk towards her feet, then the two film canisters, and finally the fat manila envelope with the photos.
I didn't want her to see me, not like I was, so I unhooked the strips in my waistband and tried shifting. Surprisingly, it happened almost with ease on my first big intake of breath, and suddenly I was mind-blind and sprawled on the floor under my desk, surrounded by the rocks I'd dumped out earlier. After a few more breaths, I rolled, righted my box, and started labouriously putting the rocks back. My hands shook from weakness. Then I slowly crawled out, grabbing my chair as an unstable support to help me up. My eyes felt dry and scratchy, and I had a headache. They never showed this part in Indiana Jones films, did they?
I was not expecting to see Marcus watching me carefully from where he stood, while Rushana started picking up the stuff from the floor, moving her gaze between it and me.
"You look pretty bad," she said finally. I nodded, and realised I was very, very thirsty and had an awful dirt taste in my mouth. I dropped my backpack on my chair, pulled out my empty water bottle and weaved my way unsteadily to the sink in the rock room, where we washed samples and wet-sieved, and filled it up. I couldn't remember if it was potable water but I didn't care and drank the whole bottle, then filled it up again and drank most of that, before making my way back to my desk.
Rushana had carried the stuff over to her desk, where she had a lamp on and was paging through one of the binders. Marcus was standing next to her, going through the photographs from the envelope. I glanced at his wrist, but it was covered by the sleeve of a lab coat. We only wear those when working with the solvents or anything that would ruin cloth, so he clearly had it on to hide his wrist. I let my eyes drift to one of the small windows, which showed a grey patch of sky, and checked the time on my phone. I seemed to have trouble making sense of the numbers on the screen, and squinted at it for several moments before they finally resolved. Just after eleven in the morning.
"This is great," Rushana said as she paged through the second binder.
"This is awful," Marcus said, tossing the photos and envelope down on her desk. He looked at me. "What happened?"
I moved my bag to my desk and flopped in my chair in exhaustion. I gestured at him. "You're still here." My voice was a croak.
"Yep," he replied in a solemn voice. "You definitely missed a lot of fun." He stopped as if he'd thought of something, then continued. "There was, um, an incident." I gave him a dark look. He held his hands up. "Not my doing!"
"The missing guys showed up," Rushana said. She explained that security found Robbins wandering out of wherever they had locked him in, and that ultimately there were two other infected people around as well, actively attacking the security people. Everyone was running around and Rushana had seen that one of the temporary desks was empty of people. She used a cloned badge to unlock a computer, and had found and made changes to the report about Marcus, substituting Robbin's name and changing the monster category to NEW/UNKNOWN. The slug creatures were still under that category, she added.
I frowned, my brain filled with headache, tiredness and muddled thoughts. She had a "cloned badge"? Infected people missing for days just showed up? The timing sure seemed convenient. I think maybe I didn't ask further because it also all seemed far away from me at the moment. Did it matter?
"And Lembree? The guy who made the report?" I asked.
"He's in the med tent right now," Rushana said. "Someone really messed him up during the night."
I didn't say anything, but glared at Marcus again, who again raised his palms to me and attempted an innocent expression.
"Not me! I was in here." I must not have looked convinced. "If I had gone after him, there wouldn't be anything left to sit in a med tent," he insisted, which I did believe. He pulled back his lab coat sleeve to show a tan bandage wrapped a few times around his wrist. "That thing gave me a surprise nap right when I got the saw through it." Rushana almost laughed with a sigh and shook her head.
"I heard something and found him on the floor," she said, "with the band mostly off. I think he triggered the injection of the knock-out drugs, so I pulled the rest of it off and dragged him out of the rock room." She made a face. "It's not a good idea to pass out above a running saw, you know." Marcus shook his head in agreement.
That seemed to be all they had to say, and both were looking at me expectantly.
"Fine. So here's what I ran into," I began with a rasp in my voice, and told them of the records room, the lack of air, the slugs driving me the other direction, and finally the underground tomb. I left out the part about the slugs dying, but I still had trouble getting through the description of what I saw down there.
"Under the barracks?" Rushana asked in an incredulous tone when I finished. "Something like that, practically underneath us, all this time," she mused, shaking her head. I could see her already thinking of what to do with this new information. This would absolutely crush RM and BioSens if this got out. Especially BioSens.
My eyes lost focus and I was back in that room, staring at something's dead face with its silent scream. I put my hands over my face and everyone was still a moment. Then I realised that not only did my hands smell of dirt, but everything smelled. I was filthy and starving.
"I really, really need to eat something," I muttered. "And a shower." I stood up carefully and wobbled, wondering which problem I should tackle first.
"Hey, no. Stay here. We'll bring something," Marcus said quickly.
"No, I'll bring something," Rushana interrupted. "You," she pointed at Marcus, "still can't badge into anything until six tonight. It was the one thing I couldn't get to change right away." She looked at me. "What should I get?"
"Everything," I answered immediately. "Just bring whatever you can carry the most of."
"Bring coffee too," Marcus added.
We had a strict no-food policy in the lab. Very strict. Except when we found ourselves late in the evening behind screens and still not finished with whatever we were working on… or when the world was in disarray and nothing was safe, I guess.
As soon as Rushana was out, Marcus did one of those sudden movements, springing up to peer out the small high window to watch her walk away. I wondered if he'd just stopped bothering to adjust his movement style around us. I also remembered I was still a little scared to be alone in a room with him. He turned back to me.
"Okay. Now tell me what happened last night," he said.
I shrugged. "I did."
He walked back to Rushana's desk area, shaking his head. "No. You smell."
"Yeah, I need a fucking shower after crawling around underground all night long. And food. And more sleep."
"That's not what I mean." He pushed his glasses up. "This whole room stinks like stale terror and... other stuff. Something happened. What did you do?"
I looked at him a moment, then fell back down in my chair. "I don't exactly know," I said tiredly.
"Describe it then."
I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand, which really wasn't any cleaner than the palm side. I'm not sure why I decided to even say anything. "I was in that room full of dead people, freaking out at what BioSens did. I was really... angry. Like..." I shook my head and looked around the room, searching for words. "I've never felt that way before." I looked down at my feet, which I realised were still bare because I hadn't put my sandals back on. They were covered with mud and dust, all under the nails and everything. "Those... the hairy slugs were coming in, and I was so pissed, and scared of them, and I sort of... sort of threw that at them. And they died." I didn't look up. "A monster," I wheezed.
He didn't say anything.
"We're all awful, aren't we? The Upper World is afraid of monsters killing people, and then BioSens buried people alive after torturing them." I waived my hand around tiredly. "Now I might have just killed a bunch of things because I wasn't feeling good?" I was still a little out of sorts, because suddenly a thought came to me and I'd already blurted it out before I could catch myself. "You eat people?"
He was very still but answered me. "Not generally, no." He paused. "Don't take that to mean that they can't be food. It means I'm not stupid."
Not generally, huh? "Those people I read about, on the network page. They were being eaten bit by bit."
He sighed. "A terrible introduction for the broader Upper World, isn't it? But that was more like..." he thought a bit. "Suppose you were an extraterrestrial visiting Earth, and the first example of human beings you met was... Erm. Florida Man."
I blinked at him.
He shook his head again. "That page... that page is just a disaster. The only good thing about it as far as I'm concerned is the name they came up with for us, the official one." He raised his eyebrows. "Named after a geologist, actually. A good omen, no?"
I shrugged, and my stomach growled loudly. "Shhhh," I told it. I hoped Rushana came back soon. I looked at Marcus again.
"You need to get out of here," I told him. "If Lembree doesn't die, he's going to talk to the team that should have arrived here this morning, if he hasn't already. Or that other one, the kid. His name is probably still in the report. They'll talk to him, surely."
"I'm working on that," he replied. "Ideally, I find some way of doing it officially and with nothing on my record." His voice changed to disappointment. "I worked hard on this identity."
Rushana came back, with lots of everything and even coffee. The smell alone made me want to collapse, it was amazing. Just as I don't smoke as a human, I generally don't drink coffee as one either, but I threw that rule out and drank several cups while consuming everything I could fit in one sitting. Rushana also ate something and we managed to temporarily push the previous night out of our minds.
"Lots of 'apatite' as usual," Marcus quipped, motioning as I added more to the plate I had emptied twice already. He could have been making the usual bad joke, or maybe it was some oblique reference to my teeth. Enamel is a form of apatite.
Rushana rolled her eyes. "You're a real beryl of laughs."
"My sediments exactly!" he replied.
"Rushana, no. Don't encourage him," I groaned. These get old after hundreds of times, but I guess some people can't help themselves. Fortunately nobody made a "throw up and heave out" reference while we were eating. Marcus meanwhile had coffee with more of that red stuff in it.
"Seriously?" I asked, gesturing to his cup. "People will think you're a vampire."
"Caffeine blocks iron absorption so I add more," he said defensively.
"It's the polyphenols, not the caffeine," Rushana corrected him. "And you're just wasting good iron taking it with the coffee. Wait two hours first."
"Listen to the former biologist," I told him. "You realise London Drugs sells cheap iron pills, right?"
"So? I make this in the lab for free," he replied. I scowled in disgust. Yuck.
As we finished, we started talking about random stupid things, even having a silly argument on the theories that dolomite might actually be amazing amounts of bacterial poo or space rain. These are real questions, and science demands answers. Possibly another reason geologists drink so much.
As we finally got up to start cleaning up, Marcus stood next to Rushana and squinted at me theatrically. "She looks better now, doesn't she?" he asked her. She nodded, also looking at me. "Much better." Then she spoke to me. "Your eyes aren't coppery anymore, and you don't look like the walking dead."
I stopped what I was doing. "What?"
She nodded at me. "Yeah, you didn't look quite right when we woke you up. I think you can probably hit the showers now without attracting the wrong attention."
I had no idea my eye colour hadn't changed back. I thought it always did. To be sure, I checked the mirror in the compass in my desk. Light brown, as always nowadays. After a thought, I checked my teeth too. Normal human teeth. But there was dirt over the edges of my face where I hadn't washed it off before eating. I headed straight to a shower and spent the rest of the day with scrubbed-raw skin. I still felt like I didn't get it all off. I kept thinking there was still something in my hair, kept getting whiffs of that dead room.
I didn't know what would happen next. Rushana had her incriminating documents and Marcus was working on a way to get out legally before Lembree got out of medical, but none of us were scheduled to be finished and shipping out for another two weeks. I ended up sleeping a lot that day and the next, ignoring all my work duties while my brain recycled the underground tomb endlessly. I spent a lot of time fantasising telling RM that I quit and just walking off into the woods forever. Ha. As if they'd ever let me.
What did happen surprised me enough that I must have entertained the idea that things would work out. Instead, Lembree happened.
The whole site had been calmer as far as incidents after two nights earlier, but there were now even more security people around and a lot of workers were being sent home or to other stations. Our team was basically grounded. And then Rushana just vanished.
I hadn't seen her for over a day and was on my cot staring into space when I realised I was hearing a lot of noise outside. I rolled off the cot and opened my cabin's door, looking for the source. Lots of people yelling over loud machinery. Then I saw it was the barracks.
I was outside and running towards it before I realised what I was doing. I watched from just a few meters away, gaping, as someone used a backhoe to knock over the flimsy wooden walls of the far side of the barracks and push away a pile of stuff that looked like metal strips and chunks of wood. The aluminium shelving and the pallets, probably. Several people in full tactical gear and those burn guns gathered to the spot while someone pulled open the metal door in the ground that I'd pushed myself through just two nights earlier.
They knew. Someone had told them about the underground room. My heart pounded while my brain fought between watching them and going somewhere to puke. Instead I decided to head for the lab, but didn't make it far. As I approached I saw uniformed people walking in and out both doors. I stood there a moment staring at the surreal scene of what looked like soldiers hurrying around me, when someone grabbed my upper arm and said my name.
I was too dazed to jump, and turned to see someone in a security uniform right next to me. They pulled and lead me not to the security portacabin as I'd expected, but over to the main building. This time I was taken upstairs, where I'd not visited even once my whole time at the site, to a room with a newly-installed electric door which looked like an office.
I was half pushed in and the door closed behind me. This room had a large window facing the site outside the front of the building, and I was not alone. Fear raced through me when I saw Lembree sitting behind a large desk, already giving me that beady-eyed stare. He had a large scratch on one cheek, a bandage around his head, and one of his arms was in a sling. Marcus was sitting across from him, still wearing his lab coat. He did not look up as I entered. Next to Lembree was another man. Instead of a security uniform, he wore a dark suit and tie. His frizzy, greying hair was clipped short, and his dark skin was smoother than Lembree's. Likely around the same age, but this man stayed indoors more, away from the weathering elements that had chiseled Lembree's face.
I remained standing where I'd ended up, looking everywhere but at Lembree's creepy scowl, hugging my arms and trying not to visibly shiver.
"Sit," Lembree barked. I obediently walked to the remaining chair, also across the desk from the security men but spaced a good distance away from Marcus, and sat down. The chair was one of those metal things with the flat plastic seat and plastic plate for your back, and rather big. I pulled my feet up, leaving my sandals on the floor, and tucked them underneath me tailor-style. Clearly shit had gone too far to worry about looking professional. I was certain this was where they told me I was fired and I'd be living the rest of my short lifespan in some concrete facility somewhere.
The man in the suit did not introduce himself, and instead looked down at paper in his hands, what I assumed was a file on me. He asked me to confirm my name, job title, and start date, all of which I answered in the affirmative. Lembree kept staring at me, so I kept my eyes on the man in the suit. I wondered if Lembree was maybe really an android, because I swear the man never blinked.
"Do you have anything to say?" the man in the suit asked me. I frowned at him. What? Why wasn't Rushana in here? They knew about the barracks, meaning they probably also knew about the little record room. Maybe she'd been fucking with me. Maybe she'd been working with RM this whole time.
"Where's Rushana?" I asked. I'd intended to say it normally but it came out almost a whisper.
Lembree snorted. "Trying to talk her way out of prison time, I reckon," he drawled. This time it was my turn to glare as my fear turned to anger. She wasn't the one who'd buried a bunch of people alive forty years ago; these fucking corporate wankstains were.
"Are you going to do to us what you did to those people I found in the ground?" I asked with a snarl.
Lembree actually laughed. "Ho, I almost wish. Get rid of you critters and keep y'all away from us."
I sucked in a breath through my teeth, ready to yell at him I think, when Marcus interjected with an explanation for me.
"Ah, turns out Rushana wasn't working to expose all this in order to right a wrong." I looked at him. He seemed resigned and a little confused. "She's working for another Corporate Family, getting help from them. ZPG."
Zhang Publishing Group. They owned a lot of media and communication companies. The relationships are complex, but it seemed immediately obvious to me that releasing a story like what had happened here would earn them brownie points on the Upper World's little socio-political ladder, while pushing RM and BioSens down. Suddenly many things made more sense; ZPG resources had let her get Marcus approved for work at this site, the cloned security badge, maybe even the simultaneous appearance of the infected people and Robbins getting loose. That fucking devious little…
"Did you know that?" I asked Marcus angrily. He shook his head. I thought he was probably telling the truth. The man in the suit simply leaned back in his chair, watching everyone in the room with a poker face.
"Y'all got duped by her," Lembree sniggered. "Good thing I'm a sneaky bastard." He held up a small black thing, which I thought at first was a USB stick. "Thought it was weird how they had a Westie doing search jobs at some low-prio backwater." He peered at me like at a bug through a microscope, which made me shrink away from him. "I looked you up. They honest-to-God let you do sciencey dirt work, but that you were here and then my people were called to deal with unknown monsters didn't smell like a coincidence to me." He looked down the black thing in his hand. "Turned out it probably was, but I went and bugged that laboratory of yours in a few places as soon as you were done sniffing that bug goop."
I stared at him, and he chuckled again. "And I was right; weren't none of you what you pretended to be."
"We're not pretending," I protested. I couldn't believe it. The fucker had been listening to us for weeks!
"He is," the man in the suit said, pointing at Marcus.
"No he isn't!" I said. I realised I had stood up and was also pointing at Marcus. "He's one of the best fucking scientists I've worked with!" I looked at Marcus. "He should have just stayed away from the steaming pile known as RM and stuck to doing work that actually benefits the world—" I looked back at both men on the other side of the desk, "—instead of helping scuzzy Corporate Families discover each other's fucking crimes."
"Sit down," Lembree said in a low growl. I was angry but I sat.
The man in the suit leaned back in his chair, which was a more comfortable sort than the metal things the rest of us were sitting on, and steepled his fingers. "Here's what's going to happen..." He paused.
My heartrate went up and my hands were fists. I felt angry and helpless and scared, which made me more angry.
"We'll work it out with ZPG about their little spy. It was a good play," his voice had a tinge of admiration, "but they lost."
That phrasing pissed me off. It was like everything that had happened was just a big stupid game to them. But of course it was.
"We're going to empty and bulldoze in those structures underground and send a fire team to deal with the new monster species," he continued, looking at me in particular. "It was an unfortunate event, and RM is going to demand a response from BioSens for putting us in this, er, compromising and expensive position, but there's no point in going further with that. It happened and cannot be undone."
My mouth hung open. Again, it wasn't exactly surprising, yet I still couldn't believe I was actually hearing it said out loud, and so matter-of-factly. I glanced at Marcus, who was shaking his head at me with a warning look.
"As for the two of you," he continued, looking at me, "you are going to be moved off this project. Your case manager will be fully informed, and you'll be asked to stay home until a new work assignment comes along." Stay at home usually meant at least staying in the city I lived in with the idea that someone would be actively watching me, but I wasn't actually confined to my one-room rental. I frowned. I hadn't done anything wrong, but RM might decide to ask the organisation which oversaw me to reduce my privileges anyway while they decided what to finally do with me.
The man turned to face Marcus. "You are a different problem," he said finally.
"Am I a problem?" Marcus asked. The man in the suit studied him a moment. "I was asked to help uncover possible documents about a terrible event," Marcus continued. He held up a finger, "An event I already knew much about. However, that didn't work out." He shrugged. "RM is now also fully aware of what happened, and I am happy to walk away and never deal with Corporate Family games ever again." He gave the man a dim look. "I would hope that RM agrees that something like experimenting on my people again is fully off the table in the future."
The man in the suit looked a little surprised, and smiled. It was a nasty shark smile. "Ah, the guilt play. Good move." What an irritating fucking shitgibbon this guy was. I wanted to strangle him.
Lembree was looking at the man with irritation too, but for different reasons. "I don't get you," he said.
The man looked back at him, eyebrows raised.
Lembree threw his uninjured hand out towards Marcus. "You're not really considering letting Dr Zoidberg here walk away from this, are you?"
"Ha! Good one," Marcus said sarcastically.
The man in the suit continued looking at Lembree. "You're a De Real. Supposedly an expert in dealing with all things inhuman." Lembree didn't reply, but just stared at the man with his unblinking black eyes. The man continued. "So you know that this individual has been in near constant communication with all others of his sort this whole time." Lembree's face remained unchanged, but he said nothing back.
The man set his hands on the desk, and started speaking in a different tone. "RM has discovered that another Family, with whom it had a partnership, performed heinous acts on Company property without RM's knowledge or approval. A member of an aggrieved party sought to bring these events to light, and while RM admits no responsibility for the terrible acts, it is grateful to have been informed. In order to convey our deepest regrets and to show we mean no further harm, we wish the representative of the aggrieved party well, and the party as a whole, in future endeavours."
I blinked.
"Wow," Marcus said. "Do you practice that in front of a mirror every day?"
"Get out, please," the man said to him. His shark smile was back.
Marcus stood up, gave me a goofy little salute, and thumbed his nose at Lembree as he walked out. I could have sworn I also heard him mutter the word "asshole" as he left. Lembree glowered at the door as it closed.
I was indeed shipped out later that day, first to the Horizon North camp, then back on a bus to the small town depot, where someone literally stayed outside my motel room overnight, and from there an RM employee drove me back to the building in the city where I lived. I dragged my heavy duffel all the way up the several flights of stairs to my small room, since the elevator in my building is always broken. I didn't particularly want to be in an elevator any time soon anyway.
I unlocked my nearing-end-of-life door and stood in the doorway, looking at a stale little room made dim by closed window blinds. It would be better with some plants, but my schedule of being gone for weeks at a time wasn't conducive to keeping things alive, just as it didn't help with having friends or knowing my neighbours. I love being in the field, but fieldwork is hard on you in several ways. I considered for the bazillionth time working towards being a GIS and DB expert like Kish. Get some nine-to-five office gig. It had taken me the whole trip home to finally believe that my luck was real. I was still alive, still employed, and not locked in a hole somewhere.
I did bring back one rock. It was a small, pale, euhedral quartz which I'd found hand-augering a soil sample out far from the area with the buildings, a remnant of stuff carried by the glacier which had covered that basin millennia ago. There'd been other interesting rocks in my box but had dumped them all out. Leaverite. I didn't really want to remember this job anyway. I set the quartz on my windowsill, one of the many places covered with rocks, along with my bookshelves already groaning with textbooks, atlases and mineral guides, my work desk, and my little kitchen countertop. I know; the whole rocks on the countertop thing needs to be stopped sooner rather than later.
I desperately wanted to fill my brain with other things to cover up the memories of what I'd seen, and was actually happy to get a new work assignment two weeks later: a phase 1 nearby, meaning I could be home every night. Anyway, it was better than sitting in my room alone, writing more useless emails to everyone I could think of in my endless petition to let me get my Master's, and continuing my check-ins with my case manager. The Upper World's argument against me getting more schooling is that, due to my short life span, they'd rather my time was spent earning my position economically in their world. I keep arguing that you can do actual work while getting a Master's, but so far I haven't gotten anywhere. I think they like being able to just shuttle me around more entry-level things.
I wondered if I'd run into Rushana again. RM couldn't block her from the field, just maybe keep her off certain projects. Would I work with her without punching her in the face? She fucking played me. But yeah, probably. I can be a professional. I'd just never trust her again. And I wondered whether Marcus had actually gotten away and was hiding in some hole, or if they just went after him later. Some reali really enjoy a good old-fashioned monster hunt, and it probably hadn't been smart of him to deliberately piss off Lembree like he did.
I didn't hear anything in the Upper World news over the last few months, which was pretty much what I'd expected. I did hear through the RM grapevine that they'd just razed the whole area up there, buried and burned everything, abandoning the site entirely. The entire geology team had been decimated and that ground was cursed now, so that didn't surprise me too much. But still, they won. They got to bury their dirty secret in the ground, and my already dim view of the Upper World became much darker.
I also tried to stop worrying about whether that darkness surrounding me from the Upper World wasn't also inside. How monstrous was I? I forced myself to think of something else every time that thought intruded.
Monsters exist. Creatures, with fangs and claws and appetite for people and all that. But they also walk around fully human, wearing suits and sitting in offices. Fuckers.
So. Today. It's been a little more than a year and a half since the events at that remote project site. I wrote all that down over the span of a week, then put it away.
Recently, I've been drifting through the Covid summer. Almost all my jobs which would have been on-site were put on hold, which was incentive enough to just hunker down and go through more QGIS and SQL stuff, get my Python back from its sorry state in my head, all that. Fully looking towards the future, until I got the letter. I don't get mail, except a few bills, notices from the city or the cantankerous building owner, so I was confused, wary and curious.
The envelope had no return address but had mine cleanly hand-written in small caps with black pen. I opened it cautiously, wondering what it could possibly be.
Inside was a folded piece of lined paper and what looked like a business card. The business card had nothing printed on it, but instead a name and a number scribbled with blue ballpoint pen. I didn't recognise the name or handwriting at all, and the number had an international calling prefix. Who makes phone calls anymore? Confused, I opened the folded paper. It had the same careful printing as the envelope:

Heya,
Hope they haven't been too hard on you. Me, I've been doing a lot of digging! (literally. ha ha)
I think I found something for you. You should contact them and get yourself up to speed. Then maybe you can stay alive by more than 'pure luck and the benevolence of the gods' : )
Those online propaganda pages are worthless, as we both know.
Have a gneiss day!
-M

I guess they didn't kill him yet.
The letter brought back a nauseating black wave of memories and an amount of emotion I didn't think I still had. I just re-read everything I'd written, and… fucking hell.
I'm still deciding if I'm going to call that number. Do I want to talk to whoever is on the other end? Do I want to find out how much more of a monster I am? I feel like I'm standing on firm ground, about to step onto something moving. The thought makes me dizzy.

After my night in the underground tomb, I had collapsed in the lab, because it had seemed like the only place I could go.
I don't know if I dreamed of anything but I was awakened by the strange idea that I was hearing food talking to me. One voice getting louder finally woke me enough to realise I was stiff and sore from a strange sleeping position. I tried moving and found myself wedged into a ball, which reminded me I was in a cardboard box. A voice came closer and called my name. Rushana's voice.
Vague shapes surrounding me collapsed into more defined forms. Surfaces became clear, and the lab resolved around me in an unfamiliar orientation. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the underside of my desk, and some faint grey window light peeking in. I mentally groaned and moved to tip the box on its side, which helped wake me up a bit more. I saw the wheels of my chair in front of my face and further away two pairs of shoes, the smaller of which were Rushana's. My backpack was still in my arms, and I slowly pulled it open and dragged the binders out one by one, pushing them out from under the desk towards her feet, then the two film canisters, and finally the fat manila envelope with the photos.
I didn't want her to see me, not like I was, so I unhooked the strips in my waistband and tried shifting. Surprisingly, it happened almost with ease on my first big intake of breath, and suddenly I was mind-blind and sprawled on the floor under my desk, surrounded by the rocks I'd dumped out earlier. After a few more breaths, I rolled, righted my box, and started labouriously putting the rocks back. My hands shook from weakness. Then I slowly crawled out, grabbing my chair as an unstable support to help me up. My eyes felt dry and scratchy, and I had a headache. They never showed this part in Indiana Jones films, did they?
I was not expecting to see Marcus watching me carefully from where he stood, while Rushana started picking up the stuff from the floor, moving her gaze between it and me.
"You look pretty bad," she said finally. I nodded, and realised I was very, very thirsty and had an awful dirt taste in my mouth. I dropped my backpack on my chair, pulled out my empty water bottle and weaved my way unsteadily to the sink in the rock room, where we washed samples and wet-sieved, and filled it up. I couldn't remember if it was potable water but I didn't care and drank the whole bottle, then filled it up again and drank most of that, before making my way back to my desk.
Rushana had carried the stuff over to her desk, where she had a lamp on and was paging through one of the binders. Marcus was standing next to her, going through the photographs from the envelope. I glanced at his wrist, but it was covered by the sleeve of a lab coat. We only wear those when working with the solvents or anything that would ruin cloth, so he clearly had it on to hide his wrist. I let my eyes drift to one of the small windows, which showed a grey patch of sky, and checked the time on my phone. I seemed to have trouble making sense of the numbers on the screen, and squinted at it for several moments before they finally resolved. Just after eleven in the morning.
"This is great," Rushana said as she paged through the second binder.
"This is awful," Marcus said, tossing the photos and envelope down on her desk. He looked at me. "What happened?"
I moved my bag to my desk and flopped in my chair in exhaustion. I gestured at him. "You're still here." My voice was a croak.
"Yep," he replied in a solemn voice. "You definitely missed a lot of fun." He stopped as if he'd thought of something, then continued. "There was, um, an incident." I gave him a dark look. He held his hands up. "Not my doing!"
"The missing guys showed up," Rushana said. She explained that security found Robbins wandering out of wherever they had locked him in, and that ultimately there were two other infected people around as well, actively attacking the security people. Everyone was running around and Rushana had seen that one of the temporary desks was empty of people. She used a cloned badge to unlock a computer, and had found and made changes to the report about Marcus, substituting Robbin's name and changing the monster category to NEW/UNKNOWN. The slug creatures were still under that category, she added.
I frowned, my brain filled with headache, tiredness and muddled thoughts. She had a "cloned badge"? Infected people missing for days just showed up? The timing sure seemed convenient. I think maybe I didn't ask further because it also all seemed far away from me at the moment. Did it matter?
"And Lembree? The guy who made the report?" I asked.
"He's in the med tent right now," Rushana said. "Someone really messed him up during the night."
I didn't say anything, but glared at Marcus again, who again raised his palms to me and attempted an innocent expression.
"Not me! I was in here." I must not have looked convinced. "If I had gone after him, there wouldn't be anything left to sit in a med tent," he insisted, which I did believe. He pulled back his lab coat sleeve to show a tan bandage wrapped a few times around his wrist. "That thing gave me a surprise nap right when I got the saw through it." Rushana almost laughed with a sigh and shook her head.
"I heard something and found him on the floor," she said, "with the band mostly off. I think he triggered the injection of the knock-out drugs, so I pulled the rest of it off and dragged him out of the rock room." She made a face. "It's not a good idea to pass out above a running saw, you know." Marcus shook his head in agreement.
That seemed to be all they had to say, and both were looking at me expectantly.
"Fine. So here's what I ran into," I began with a rasp in my voice, and told them of the records room, the lack of air, the slugs driving me the other direction, and finally the underground tomb. I left out the part about the slugs dying, but I still had trouble getting through the description of what I saw down there.
"Under the barracks?" Rushana asked in an incredulous tone when I finished. "Something like that, practically underneath us, all this time," she mused, shaking her head. I could see her already thinking of what to do with this new information. This would absolutely crush RM and BioSens if this got out. Especially BioSens.
My eyes lost focus and I was back in that room, staring at something's dead face with its silent scream. I put my hands over my face and everyone was still a moment. Then I realised that not only did my hands smell of dirt, but everything smelled. I was filthy and starving.
"I really, really need to eat something," I muttered. "And a shower." I stood up carefully and wobbled, wondering which problem I should tackle first.
"Hey, no. Stay here. We'll bring something," Marcus said quickly.
"No, I'll bring something," Rushana interrupted. "You," she pointed at Marcus, "still can't badge into anything until six tonight. It was the one thing I couldn't get to change right away." She looked at me. "What should I get?"
"Everything," I answered immediately. "Just bring whatever you can carry the most of."
"Bring coffee too," Marcus added.
We had a strict no-food policy in the lab. Very strict. Except when we found ourselves late in the evening behind screens and still not finished with whatever we were working on… or when the world was in disarray and nothing was safe, I guess.
As soon as Rushana was out, Marcus did one of those sudden movements, springing up to peer out the small high window to watch her walk away. I wondered if he'd just stopped bothering to adjust his movement style around us. I also remembered I was still a little scared to be alone in a room with him. He turned back to me.
"Okay. Now tell me what happened last night," he said.
I shrugged. "I did."
He walked back to Rushana's desk area, shaking his head. "No. You smell."
"Yeah, I need a fucking shower after crawling around underground all night long. And food. And more sleep."
"That's not what I mean." He pushed his glasses up. "This whole room stinks like stale terror and... other stuff. Something happened. What did you do?"
I looked at him a moment, then fell back down in my chair. "I don't exactly know," I said tiredly.
"Describe it then."
I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand, which really wasn't any cleaner than the palm side. I'm not sure why I decided to even say anything. "I was in that room full of dead people, freaking out at what BioSens did. I was really... angry. Like..." I shook my head and looked around the room, searching for words. "I've never felt that way before." I looked down at my feet, which I realised were still bare because I hadn't put my sandals back on. They were covered with mud and dust, all under the nails and everything. "Those... the hairy slugs were coming in, and I was so pissed, and scared of them, and I sort of... sort of threw that at them. And they died." I didn't look up. "A monster," I wheezed.
He didn't say anything.
"We're all awful, aren't we? The Upper World is afraid of monsters killing people, and then BioSens buried people alive after torturing them." I waived my hand around tiredly. "Now I might have just killed a bunch of things because I wasn't feeling good?" I was still a little out of sorts, because suddenly a thought came to me and I'd already blurted it out before I could catch myself. "You eat people?"
He was very still but answered me. "Not generally, no." He paused. "Don't take that to mean that they can't be food. It means I'm not stupid."
Not generally, huh? "Those people I read about, on the network page. They were being eaten bit by bit."
He sighed. "A terrible introduction for the broader Upper World, isn't it? But that was more like..." he thought a bit. "Suppose you were an extraterrestrial visiting Earth, and the first example of human beings you met was... Erm. Florida Man."
I blinked at him.
He shook his head again. "That page... that page is just a disaster. The only good thing about it as far as I'm concerned is the name they came up with for us, the official one." He raised his eyebrows. "Named after a geologist, actually. A good omen, no?"
I shrugged, and my stomach growled loudly. "Shhhh," I told it. I hoped Rushana came back soon. I looked at Marcus again.
"You need to get out of here," I told him. "If Lembree doesn't die, he's going to talk to the team that should have arrived here this morning, if he hasn't already. Or that other one, the kid. His name is probably still in the report. They'll talk to him, surely."
"I'm working on that," he replied. "Ideally, I find some way of doing it officially and with nothing on my record." His voice changed to disappointment. "I worked hard on this identity."
Rushana came back, with lots of everything and even coffee. The smell alone made me want to collapse, it was amazing. Just as I don't smoke as a human, I generally don't drink coffee as one either, but I threw that rule out and drank several cups while consuming everything I could fit in one sitting. Rushana also ate something and we managed to temporarily push the previous night out of our minds.
"Lots of 'apatite' as usual," Marcus quipped, motioning as I added more to the plate I had emptied twice already. He could have been making the usual bad joke, or maybe it was some oblique reference to my teeth. Enamel is a form of apatite.
Rushana rolled her eyes. "You're a real beryl of laughs."
"My sediments exactly!" he replied.
"Rushana, no. Don't encourage him," I groaned. These get old after hundreds of times, but I guess some people can't help themselves. Fortunately nobody made a "throw up and heave out" reference while we were eating. Marcus meanwhile had coffee with more of that red stuff in it.
"Seriously?" I asked, gesturing to his cup. "People will think you're a vampire."
"Caffeine blocks iron absorption so I add more," he said defensively.
"It's the polyphenols, not the caffeine," Rushana corrected him. "And you're just wasting good iron taking it with the coffee. Wait two hours first."
"Listen to the former biologist," I told him. "You realise London Drugs sells cheap iron pills, right?"
"So? I make this in the lab for free," he replied. I scowled in disgust. Yuck.
As we finished, we started talking about random stupid things, even having a silly argument on the theories that dolomite might actually be amazing amounts of bacterial poo or space rain. These are real questions, and science demands answers. Possibly another reason geologists drink so much.
As we finally got up to start cleaning up, Marcus stood next to Rushana and squinted at me theatrically. "She looks better now, doesn't she?" he asked her. She nodded, also looking at me. "Much better." Then she spoke to me. "Your eyes aren't coppery anymore, and you don't look like the walking dead."
I stopped what I was doing. "What?"
She nodded at me. "Yeah, you didn't look quite right when we woke you up. I think you can probably hit the showers now without attracting the wrong attention."
I had no idea my eye colour hadn't changed back. I thought it always did. To be sure, I checked the mirror in the compass in my desk. Light brown, as always nowadays. After a thought, I checked my teeth too. Normal human teeth. But there was dirt over the edges of my face where I hadn't washed it off before eating. I headed straight to a shower and spent the rest of the day with scrubbed-raw skin. I still felt like I didn't get it all off. I kept thinking there was still something in my hair, kept getting whiffs of that dead room.
I didn't know what would happen next. Rushana had her incriminating documents and Marcus was working on a way to get out legally before Lembree got out of medical, but none of us were scheduled to be finished and shipping out for another two weeks. I ended up sleeping a lot that day and the next, ignoring all my work duties while my brain recycled the underground tomb endlessly. I spent a lot of time fantasising telling RM that I quit and just walking off into the woods forever. Ha. As if they'd ever let me.
What did happen surprised me enough that I must have entertained the idea that things would work out. Instead, Lembree happened.
The whole site had been calmer as far as incidents after two nights earlier, but there were now even more security people around and a lot of workers were being sent home or to other stations. Our team was basically grounded. And then Rushana just vanished.
I hadn't seen her for over a day and was on my cot staring into space when I realised I was hearing a lot of noise outside. I rolled off the cot and opened my cabin's door, looking for the source. Lots of people yelling over loud machinery. Then I saw it was the barracks.
I was outside and running towards it before I realised what I was doing. I watched from just a few meters away, gaping, as someone used a backhoe to knock over the flimsy wooden walls of the far side of the barracks and push away a pile of stuff that looked like metal strips and chunks of wood. The aluminium shelving and the pallets, probably. Several people in full tactical gear and those burn guns gathered to the spot while someone pulled open the metal door in the ground that I'd pushed myself through just two nights earlier.
They knew. Someone had told them about the underground room. My heart pounded while my brain fought between watching them and going somewhere to puke. Instead I decided to head for the lab, but didn't make it far. As I approached I saw uniformed people walking in and out both doors. I stood there a moment staring at the surreal scene of what looked like soldiers hurrying around me, when someone grabbed my upper arm and said my name.
I was too dazed to jump, and turned to see someone in a security uniform right next to me. They pulled and lead me not to the security portacabin as I'd expected, but over to the main building. This time I was taken upstairs, where I'd not visited even once my whole time at the site, to a room with a newly-installed electric door which looked like an office.
I was half pushed in and the door closed behind me. This room had a large window facing the site outside the front of the building, and I was not alone. Fear raced through me when I saw Lembree sitting behind a large desk, already giving me that beady-eyed stare. He had a large scratch on one cheek, a bandage around his head, and one of his arms was in a sling. Marcus was sitting across from him, still wearing his lab coat. He did not look up as I entered. Next to Lembree was another man. Instead of a security uniform, he wore a dark suit and tie. His frizzy, greying hair was clipped short, and his dark skin was smoother than Lembree's. Likely around the same age, but this man stayed indoors more, away from the weathering elements that had chiseled Lembree's face.
I remained standing where I'd ended up, looking everywhere but at Lembree's creepy scowl, hugging my arms and trying not to visibly shiver.
"Sit," Lembree barked. I obediently walked to the remaining chair, also across the desk from the security men but spaced a good distance away from Marcus, and sat down. The chair was one of those metal things with the flat plastic seat and plastic plate for your back, and rather big. I pulled my feet up, leaving my sandals on the floor, and tucked them underneath me tailor-style. Clearly shit had gone too far to worry about looking professional. I was certain this was where they told me I was fired and I'd be living the rest of my short lifespan in some concrete facility somewhere.
The man in the suit did not introduce himself, and instead looked down at paper in his hands, what I assumed was a file on me. He asked me to confirm my name, job title, and start date, all of which I answered in the affirmative. Lembree kept staring at me, so I kept my eyes on the man in the suit. I wondered if Lembree was maybe really an android, because I swear the man never blinked.
"Do you have anything to say?" the man in the suit asked me. I frowned at him. What? Why wasn't Rushana in here? They knew about the barracks, meaning they probably also knew about the little record room. Maybe she'd been fucking with me. Maybe she'd been working with RM this whole time.
"Where's Rushana?" I asked. I'd intended to say it normally but it came out almost a whisper.
Lembree snorted. "Trying to talk her way out of prison time, I reckon," he drawled. This time it was my turn to glare as my fear turned to anger. She wasn't the one who'd buried a bunch of people alive forty years ago; these fucking corporate wankstains were.
"Are you going to do to us what you did to those people I found in the ground?" I asked with a snarl.
Lembree actually laughed. "Ho, I almost wish. Get rid of you critters and keep y'all away from us."
I sucked in a breath through my teeth, ready to yell at him I think, when Marcus interjected with an explanation for me.
"Ah, turns out Rushana wasn't working to expose all this in order to right a wrong." I looked at him. He seemed resigned and a little confused. "She's working for another Corporate Family, getting help from them. ZPG."
Zhang Publishing Group. They owned a lot of media and communication companies. The relationships are complex, but it seemed immediately obvious to me that releasing a story like what had happened here would earn them brownie points on the Upper World's little socio-political ladder, while pushing RM and BioSens down. Suddenly many things made more sense; ZPG resources had let her get Marcus approved for work at this site, the cloned security badge, maybe even the simultaneous appearance of the infected people and Robbins getting loose. That fucking devious little…
"Did you know that?" I asked Marcus angrily. He shook his head. I thought he was probably telling the truth. The man in the suit simply leaned back in his chair, watching everyone in the room with a poker face.
"Y'all got duped by her," Lembree sniggered. "Good thing I'm a sneaky bastard." He held up a small black thing, which I thought at first was a USB stick. "Thought it was weird how they had a Westie doing search jobs at some low-prio backwater." He peered at me like at a bug through a microscope, which made me shrink away from him. "I looked you up. They honest-to-God let you do sciencey dirt work, but that you were here and then my people were called to deal with unknown monsters didn't smell like a coincidence to me." He looked down the black thing in his hand. "Turned out it probably was, but I went and bugged that laboratory of yours in a few places as soon as you were done sniffing that bug goop."
I stared at him, and he chuckled again. "And I was right; weren't none of you what you pretended to be."
"We're not pretending," I protested. I couldn't believe it. The fucker had been listening to us for weeks!
"He is," the man in the suit said, pointing at Marcus.
"No he isn't!" I said. I realised I had stood up and was also pointing at Marcus. "He's one of the best fucking scientists I've worked with!" I looked at Marcus. "He should have just stayed away from the steaming pile known as RM and stuck to doing work that actually benefits the world—" I looked back at both men on the other side of the desk, "—instead of helping scuzzy Corporate Families discover each other's fucking crimes."
"Sit down," Lembree said in a low growl. I was angry but I sat.
The man in the suit leaned back in his chair, which was a more comfortable sort than the metal things the rest of us were sitting on, and steepled his fingers. "Here's what's going to happen..." He paused.
My heartrate went up and my hands were fists. I felt angry and helpless and scared, which made me more angry.
"We'll work it out with ZPG about their little spy. It was a good play," his voice had a tinge of admiration, "but they lost."
That phrasing pissed me off. It was like everything that had happened was just a big stupid game to them. But of course it was.
"We're going to empty and bulldoze in those structures underground and send a fire team to deal with the new monster species," he continued, looking at me in particular. "It was an unfortunate event, and RM is going to demand a response from BioSens for putting us in this, er, compromising and expensive position, but there's no point in going further with that. It happened and cannot be undone."
My mouth hung open. Again, it wasn't exactly surprising, yet I still couldn't believe I was actually hearing it said out loud, and so matter-of-factly. I glanced at Marcus, who was shaking his head at me with a warning look.
"As for the two of you," he continued, looking at me, "you are going to be moved off this project. Your case manager will be fully informed, and you'll be asked to stay home until a new work assignment comes along." Stay at home usually meant at least staying in the city I lived in with the idea that someone would be actively watching me, but I wasn't actually confined to my one-room rental. I frowned. I hadn't done anything wrong, but RM might decide to ask the organisation which oversaw me to reduce my privileges anyway while they decided what to finally do with me.
The man turned to face Marcus. "You are a different problem," he said finally.
"Am I a problem?" Marcus asked. The man in the suit studied him a moment. "I was asked to help uncover possible documents about a terrible event," Marcus continued. He held up a finger, "An event I already knew much about. However, that didn't work out." He shrugged. "RM is now also fully aware of what happened, and I am happy to walk away and never deal with Corporate Family games ever again." He gave the man a dim look. "I would hope that RM agrees that something like experimenting on my people again is fully off the table in the future."
The man in the suit looked a little surprised, and smiled. It was a nasty shark smile. "Ah, the guilt play. Good move." What an irritating fucking shitgibbon this guy was. I wanted to strangle him.
Lembree was looking at the man with irritation too, but for different reasons. "I don't get you," he said.
The man looked back at him, eyebrows raised.
Lembree threw his uninjured hand out towards Marcus. "You're not really considering letting Dr Zoidberg here walk away from this, are you?"
"Ha! Good one," Marcus said sarcastically.
The man in the suit continued looking at Lembree. "You're a De Real. Supposedly an expert in dealing with all things inhuman." Lembree didn't reply, but just stared at the man with his unblinking black eyes. The man continued. "So you know that this individual has been in near constant communication with all others of his sort this whole time." Lembree's face remained unchanged, but he said nothing back.
The man set his hands on the desk, and started speaking in a different tone. "RM has discovered that another Family, with whom it had a partnership, performed heinous acts on Company property without RM's knowledge or approval. A member of an aggrieved party sought to bring these events to light, and while RM admits no responsibility for the terrible acts, it is grateful to have been informed. In order to convey our deepest regrets and to show we mean no further harm, we wish the representative of the aggrieved party well, and the party as a whole, in future endeavours."
I blinked.
"Wow," Marcus said. "Do you practice that in front of a mirror every day?"
"Get out, please," the man said to him. His shark smile was back.
Marcus stood up, gave me a goofy little salute, and thumbed his nose at Lembree as he walked out. I could have sworn I also heard him mutter the word "asshole" as he left. Lembree glowered at the door as it closed.
I was indeed shipped out later that day, first to the Horizon North camp, then back on a bus to the small town depot, where someone literally stayed outside my motel room overnight, and from there an RM employee drove me back to the building in the city where I lived. I dragged my heavy duffel all the way up the several flights of stairs to my small room, since the elevator in my building is always broken. I didn't particularly want to be in an elevator any time soon anyway.
I unlocked my nearing-end-of-life door and stood in the doorway, looking at a stale little room made dim by closed window blinds. It would be better with some plants, but my schedule of being gone for weeks at a time wasn't conducive to keeping things alive, just as it didn't help with having friends or knowing my neighbours. I love being in the field, but fieldwork is hard on you in several ways. I considered for the bazillionth time working towards being a GIS and DB expert like Kish. Get some nine-to-five office gig. It had taken me the whole trip home to finally believe that my luck was real. I was still alive, still employed, and not locked in a hole somewhere.
I did bring back one rock. It was a small, pale, euhedral quartz which I'd found hand-augering a soil sample out far from the area with the buildings, a remnant of stuff carried by the glacier which had covered that basin millennia ago. There'd been other interesting rocks in my box but had dumped them all out. Leaverite. I didn't really want to remember this job anyway. I set the quartz on my windowsill, one of the many places covered with rocks, along with my bookshelves already groaning with textbooks, atlases and mineral guides, my work desk, and my little kitchen countertop. I know; the whole rocks on the countertop thing needs to be stopped sooner rather than later.
I desperately wanted to fill my brain with other things to cover up the memories of what I'd seen, and was actually happy to get a new work assignment two weeks later: a phase 1 nearby, meaning I could be home every night. Anyway, it was better than sitting in my room alone, writing more useless emails to everyone I could think of in my endless petition to let me get my Master's, and continuing my check-ins with my case manager. The Upper World's argument against me getting more schooling is that, due to my short life span, they'd rather my time was spent earning my position economically in their world. I keep arguing that you can do actual work while getting a Master's, but so far I haven't gotten anywhere. I think they like being able to just shuttle me around more entry-level things.
I wondered if I'd run into Rushana again. RM couldn't block her from the field, just maybe keep her off certain projects. Would I work with her without punching her in the face? She fucking played me. But yeah, probably. I can be a professional. I'd just never trust her again. And I wondered whether Marcus had actually gotten away and was hiding in some hole, or if they just went after him later. Some reali really enjoy a good old-fashioned monster hunt, and it probably hadn't been smart of him to deliberately piss off Lembree like he did.
I didn't hear anything in the Upper World news over the last few months, which was pretty much what I'd expected. I did hear through the RM grapevine that they'd just razed the whole area up there, buried and burned everything, abandoning the site entirely. The entire geology team had been decimated and that ground was cursed now, so that didn't surprise me too much. But still, they won. They got to bury their dirty secret in the ground, and my already dim view of the Upper World became much darker.
I also tried to stop worrying about whether that darkness surrounding me from the Upper World wasn't also inside. How monstrous was I? I forced myself to think of something else every time that thought intruded.
Monsters exist. Creatures, with fangs and claws and appetite for people and all that. But they also walk around fully human, wearing suits and sitting in offices. Fuckers.
So. Today. It's been a little more than a year and a half since the events at that remote project site. I wrote all that down over the span of a week, then put it away.
Recently, I've been drifting through the Covid summer. Almost all my jobs which would have been on-site were put on hold, which was incentive enough to just hunker down and go through more QGIS and SQL stuff, get my Python back from its sorry state in my head, all that. Fully looking towards the future, until I got the letter. I don't get mail, except a few bills, notices from the city or the cantankerous building owner, so I was confused, wary and curious.
The envelope had no return address but had mine cleanly hand-written in small caps with black pen. I opened it cautiously, wondering what it could possibly be.
Inside was a folded piece of lined paper and what looked like a business card. The business card had nothing printed on it, but instead a name and a number scribbled with blue ballpoint pen. I didn't recognise the name or handwriting at all, and the number had an international calling prefix. Who makes phone calls anymore? Confused, I opened the folded paper. It had the same careful printing as the envelope:

Heya,
Hope they haven't been too hard on you. Me, I've been doing a lot of digging! (literally. ha ha)
I think I found something for you. You should contact them and get yourself up to speed. Then maybe you can stay alive by more than 'pure luck and the benevolence of the gods' :-)
Those online propaganda pages are worthless, as we both know.
Have a gneiss day!
-M

I guess they didn't kill him yet.
The letter brought back a nauseating black wave of memories and an amount of emotion I didn't think I still had. I just re-read everything I'd written, and… fucking hell.
I'm still deciding if I'm going to call that number. Do I want to talk to whoever is on the other end? Do I want to find out how much more of a monster I am? I feel like I'm standing on firm ground, about to step onto something moving. The thought makes me dizzy.

Below is a rundown of letters D-F of Epstein's contacts. Last year, I wrote about letters A-C. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/cpis3n/a_brief_rundown_of_the_first_ten_pages_of_jeffrey/). There are some misspelled names. Epstein entered their names like this.
I have bolded some of the more interesting connections and information, but there could be much more that I overlooked. I hope something here strikes an interest in someone and maybe we can get more investigations out of this. Please, if you know anything more about any of these people than what is presented here, post below. I am working off of the unredacted black book found here: https://www.coreysdigs.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Jeffrey-Epsteins-Little-Black-Book-unredacted.pdf
D-F
d’abo, Henri & Tatiana: John Henry Erland d’Abo is the grandson of the 9th Duke of Rutland (more info on what these titles all mean can be found here: https://www.debretts.com/expertise/essential-guide-to-the-peerage/what-is-the-peerage/). Tatjana is his wife. Henry is the chairman of Wilton Payments Ltd, a private company that helps with financial intermediation. He and Christopher O’Neill are the primary shareholders of the company. O’Neill is Tatjana’s half-brother, a British-American financier, and husband to Princess Madeleine, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland, a daughter of King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden.
d’abo, Mrs. Jennifer: British entrepreneur who passed away in 2003. d’Abo was once married to Peter Cadbury from the family of the famous chocolate company. Peter did not work for the company, but he and Jennifer d’Abo had a son together. Their son, Joel Cadbury, became owner of the Groucho Club, a watering hole often frequented by famous people. Three years after Cadbury sold the club, their website became the center of a child pornography scandal (link to story: https://www.sott.net/article/242698-Groucho-Clubs-website-forum-hit-by-child-pornography-scandal)
D’Alessie, Carman: This name turned up no results, however, we can safely assume that this is actually Carmen D’Alessio, the international nightlife guru who helped spawn Studio 54 and other famous clubs. She is a party legend with countless celebrity ties.
d’Arenberg, Prince Pierre: Family lineage can be traced back 1000 years. European royalty. Extremely wealthy not because of his ties to nobility, but because his mother, Margaret Bedford, was an heiress to Standard Oil (Exxon).
d’Uzes, Jacques De crussol: The 17th Duke of Uzes. Not much else found on him. Margaret Bedford married into his family shortly after her divorce with Prince Charles Auguste Armand d’Arenberg, father of Prince Pierre d’Arenberg.
Dabbagh, Amr A.: A wealthy businessman/investor from Saudi Arabia. Dabbagh recently faced corruption charges but settled with the Saudi Arabian government. Has ties all around the world, as he is a member of and/or serves/served on the boards of the World Economic Forum, London Business School, Cleveland Clinic, Jeddah Economic Forum, Harvard Institute for Social and Economic Policy in the Middle East, etc.
Dahl, Sophie: ‘90s-’00s model-turned-author and maternal granddaughter of famous author Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, etc.) Dahl has been seen in photos with Ghislaine Maxwell.
Darrin, Drake: Not much information found. Darrin runs an investment group out of Greenwich, Connecticut. Lived about a mile away from Epstein in NYC.
Dartmouth, William: The 10th Earl of Dartmouth. Member of the European Parliament from 2009-2019. Became a stepbrother of Princess Diana when his mother embarked on a 2nd marriage with Diana’s father, John Spencer.
Davies, Jeff: Most likely refers to the current CFO for Legal & General Group. Davies was once a senior partner at Ernst & Young.
Davies, David & Linda: Sir David Davies is a wealthy banker and businessman with deep connections. A family friend introduced him to David Rockefeller back in the ‘60s, which helped him get his start. Linda, daughter of a Chinese-Malaysian tycoon, is his second wife. They were married for over 20 years but are now divorced.
Davis, Michael: A current partner at N3 Media, Davis has had many jobs. He started out working at CAA, one of the top agencies in the world. Check out this list of celebrities and athletes that they represent (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Creative_Artists_Agency_clients). Davis then went on to produce movies and TV shows before transitioning to digital media.
Day, Nick and Heather: Not much to be found on these two. There are several articles that speak of their ranch in Kenya. Apparently, it is a fairly popular spot where people stay to get some rest and solitude.
de Andrade, Marcelo: An international banker (not the serial killer) who lives within one mile of Epstein’s mansion in NYC. de Andrade was married to Lisa Bjornson, a successful banker and higher-up at J.P. Morgan Securities back in the ‘90s.
de Baecque, Patrick: de Baecque has his hands in online news media (lefigaro.fr) in France. de Baecque was named Director of Sales and Operations at Dolead in 2017. Dolead is a company that is involved with online marketing.
de Cabrol, Milly: A high-end interior designer based out of NYC.
De Cadenet, Alen: Alain de Cadenet is one of Epstein’s many Formula One contacts. Someone here probably knows more about de Cadenet, but he used to be a racecar driver and now works for ESPN and the Speed Channel as a host.
de Clermont-Tonnerre, Hermine: A French princess who used to have a penchant for partying. The only daughter of Charles Henri, 11th Duke of Clermont-Tonnerre, Hermine was one of 500 guests invited to Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother’s 100th birthday back in 2000. Hermine got in a motorcycle crash a month ago that put her in a coma.
De Georgiou, Anouska: A former British Playboy model who claims that Epstein groomed and raped her as a teenager when she met him in the 1990s. Her experience with Epstein is detailed in this article (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9974171/anouska-de-georgiou-jeffrey-epstein-rape-claims-nbc-playboy/). She speaks about how Epstein was able to lure her into the life as a young girl.
De Soto, Fernando: Very difficult to pinpoint. Best guess is that this is the Head of Real Estate at Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer in Madrid, Spain. I could be wrong, but this is the one that made the most sense.
Dedieu, Jean & Paulette: Nothing found.
Del Bono, Luca: Co-founder of Quintessentially Group, a hospitality group that specializes in leisure, travel, and tourism.
Dell, Adam: Brother of Michael Dell (Founder of Dell Technologies and 27th ranked richest person in the world in Forbes’s BS rankings that discount the elite families). Adam is a venture capitalist who has a baby with Padma Lakshmi.
Deluca Dina & Fouard Chartuuni: Fouad Chartouni is the president of Kensico Properties, a real-estate holding company in New York. Chartouni and his brother own the Lowell Hotel in New York. The Lowell is a high-end 5 star hotel that caters largely to film executives, fashion design CEOs, publishing CEOs, and financial CEOs. Madonna lived there for nearly a year after breaking up with Sean Penn. Dina Deluca is Chartouni’s wife. She used to work as an assistant in film and television, but now focuses on her DDC28 brand of bath and beauty products.
Derby Earl / Cntess Cass & Ted: Edward Stanley (known informally as Teddy) is the 19th Earl of Derby. Caroline Stanley is Ted’s wife. She was a socialite during the ‘90s and is the daughter of Robin Neville, the 10th Baron Braybrooke.
Derby, Ros & Jonathan: No info found.
Di Vita, Charlotte: Best known for her handcrafted teapots, di Vita started off as a volunteer who helped raise funds to help poor people, most notably in Kenya, Thailand, and Brazil. She helped locals grow food and even helped build 3 schools (37 teachers, 1100 students) through a charity, Trade plus Aid, in Bawku, Ghana, in 1995.
Dickenson, Debbie: Supermodel and actress. Sister of the more famous Janice Dickinson.
Dickinson, Janice: One of the most successful models of the ‘70s and ‘80s, Dickinson has been occasionally labeled as the first ever supermodel. Opened her own modeling agency in 2005. Ironically, she accused Bill Cosby of raping her back in 1982 and wrote about it in her memoir. When called to the stand during Cosby’s trial, Cosby’s lawyer pointed out the differences between Dickinson’s testimony and her account of the incident in her memoir. Dickinson said that her accusations of Cosby raping her while under oath were the absolute truth, while she took “poetic license” with some of the details in her memoir.
Dietrich Marc Antoine and Cath: Baron Marc-Antoine de Dietrich is a businessman. He resigned as director of Vossloh Cogifer in 2011.
Dietrich, Paul & Laura: Paul is Chief Investment Officer of Fairfax Global Markets LLC. They manage investments for private investors, retirement funds, and private institutions.
Dimbelby, Johnathan: Jonathan Dimbleby is a famous British reporter, political radio and television show host, and author.
Diniz, Pedro: Former Formula One driver and businessman. Now runs a large scale organic farm in Brazil.
Dixon, Alexandra: No info found.
Djerassi, Dale: Film producer and private investor who was married to Ghislaine Maxwell’s sister, Isabel, from 1984-1989.
Dolbey, Alex & Suzie: Suzie Dolbey (nee Murray-Philipson) is the daughter of the recently deceased Robin Murray-Philipson, who was the descendant of the Viscounts Elibank. Alex Dolbey has been the director of several management and investment companies.
Donne, Alegra: Couldn’t find much except a bunch of pictures of her hobnobbing at fancy parties. Actual name is Maria Allegra Donn.
Dori: Dori Cooperman is a socialite blogger who is friends with Alex von Furstenberg, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, among others. Daughter of Edwin Cooperman, former Chairman of Travelers Bank Group. Used to work for the famous publicist, Lizzie Grubman, who has represented Jay-Z, Britney Spears, and the Backstreet Boys. Cooperman is known for getting into trouble due to issues with drugs and alcohol.
Dorrit: Dorrit Moussaieff is an Israeli jewellery designer, editor, and businesswoman who married into royalty. Dorrit was the First Lady of Iceland from 2003-2016 after marrying President Olafur Ragnar Grimsson in 2000. Although Moussaieff claims that Epstein only had her phone number because they “lived on the same street in London sometime between 1978 and 1983,” the Daily Mail published a picture of her and her husband, President Olafur Ragnar Grimsson, with Ghislaine Maxwell.
Doss, David & Christy Prunier: David Doss has worked as producer and/or executive producer on NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw, NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, Oprah in Africa, Primetime (with Diane Sawyer), Anderson Cooper 360, and Live PD. Doss now serves as senior VP of news programming for Al Jazeera America. Christy Prunier is a former Hollywood exec and founder of the Willa brand of beauty products.
Douglas, Diandra: Actor Michael Douglas’s first wife.
Dr. Eli Wiesel: Most likely Elie Wiesel, the famous Holocaust survivor and Jewish author of Night**. Wiesel was accused of sexual assault in 2017 (source:** https://www.newsweek.com/elie-wiesel-me-too-account-690891)
Drax, Jeremy: Founder of Parham Holdings, a London property operation.
Dreesmann, Bernard: Executive Chairman of Morleys department stores in London.
Driver, Minnie: Famous movie and television actress.
Dubb, Anthony V.: Dub is an investment banker and founder of Indigo Capital, LLC.
Dubbens, Peter: Peter Dubens is a British Internet entrepreneur and investor. Founder of Oakley Capital.
Dubin, Glen: Glenn Dubin is a billionaire hedge fund manager. There is a great article detailing Dubin and his wife’s relationship with Epstein here: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/09/glenn-dubin-epstein-questions). Summary of the article: Dubin was the first one accused by Epstein victim Virginia Giuffre. Rinaldo Rizzo, Dubin’s chef, testified that sexual activities occurred between Dubin and a 15-year-old girl, which led to him and his wife quitting as personal chefs of the Dubins. Dubin’s wife, Dr. Eva Andersson-Dubin, dated Epstein for a long time before she married Dubin. The couple was so close with Epstein that even after Epstein was convicted in 2008 and officially a registered sex offender, they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner and wrote a letter to his probation officer that they trusted him around their children, who were all minors at the time. Multiple sources say Epstein was actually their children’s Godfather, but a spokesman for the couple denies it. Glen Dubin and Epstein helped each other with their business ties, as well. Dubin also had other ties with Epstein (personal friends with Les Wexner and others). Dubin and his wife are definitely major players in the Epstein saga.
Dubin, Louis & Tiffany: Louis Dubin is a real estate developer specializing in upper-middle class condominiums. Has sold luxury condominiums to the likes of Charles Bronfman, who has ties to the Clintons, Wexner, and whose family were in the NXIUM cult. Tiffany Dubin is the stepdaughter of the now deceased billionaire, A. Alfred Taubman, the owner of Sotheby’s, a famous auction house in NYC that often hosts parties for the rich and famous.
Dubin, Peter: Epstein is/was a moron. This is the same Peter Dubens listed just above.
Duchess of York: Former wife of Prince Andrew. Mother of Princess Beatrice and Eugenie. God knows the stories she could tell. Rumor has it her toes still look like prunes to this day.
Ducrey-Giordano, Francisco: Likely the owner of General Vegetables out of Italy. No further info found.
Duesing, Paul: An interior architectural designer who has worked on luxury and personal resorts all around the world. Duesing claims Epstein tried to hire him to work on Epstein’s home on Epstein’s private island back in 2002, but Duesing declined because he didn’t like Epstein. Says he doesn’t even know how Epstein got his number in the first place. Perhaps it was Duesing’s ties with the royal family. He tells stories of getting the Queen Mother drunk, being close with Lord and Lady Lloyd, working on the home of Mohamed Al-Fayed, father of Dodi, Princess Diana’s boyfriend who died in the car crash with her.
Duke of York: Prince Andrew, the toe-sucking pedophile (allegedly), himself. Photographed with victims, Epstein, and Maxwell many times over. His reputation has been completely crushed.
Dunbar Johnson Miranda & Steph: Stephen Dunbar-Johnson is the president, International of the New York Times Company. He oversees the strategic development of the Times Company’s international businesses. He also spent 12 years working at The Financial Times. Miranda Dunbar-Johnson is Stephen’s wife. She serves on The Paris Committee, which “plays a crucial role in increasing Human Rights Watch’s visibility in France.” David de Rothschild is on the honorary committee.
Dunne, Griffin: An actor, producer, and director best known for his role as Jack in An American Werewolf in London (1981).
Dunne, Philip & Dominice: Philip Dunne is a Conservative Party politician who has been a Member of Parliament since 2005. Domenica is his wife.
Duong, Anh: An artist, actress, and model best known for her self-portraits and her portraits of art collectors and influencers. As a model, Duong has worked for Dolce & Gabbana, Christian Dior, Donna Karan, Karl Lagerfield, Moschino, Yohji Yamamoto, and others.
Durso Luigi: Luigi d’Urso was a noble and Italian railroad executive who died in 2006. His grandfather was the 9th Duke di Cassano. His mother was the great-granddaughter of George Clymer, one of the founding fathers of the U.S. and signee of both the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. d’Urso was also married to French designer and model Ines de la Fressange.
Duthie, John & Charlotte: John is primarily a television director based out of London. Duthie also won some poker tournaments against some of the world’s best players in the early 2000s. His wife, Charlotte played a big role in Sir James Goldsmith’s political career as a member of the Referendum Party back in 1997. Goldsmith received 3.5% of the vote in Putney, a constituency located in London.
Dzhabrailou, Umar: Umar Dzhabrailov is a Russian politician and advisor to Sergei Prikhodko, the current First Deputy Head of the Russian Government Office and Deputy Prime Minister of Russia in Dmitry Medvedev’s Cabinet. Dzhabrailov was rumored to be romantically linked to Naomi Campbell, supermodel and one of the main suspects in Epstein’s underage sex scandal, in the early 2000s. Dzhabrailov, a supremely wealthy businessman, ran for president in 2000, garnering 0.1% of the vote as an Independent. Dzhabrailov was a partner in Russia’s Radisson Hotel along with American entrepreneur Paul Tatum. After their falling out in 1996, Tatum was shot and killed. Some think Dzhabrailov was responsible while others think he was set up.
Ecclestone, Bernie: A billionaire British business magnate and former chief executive of Formula One Group. Ecclestone has faced some minimal controversies for tax evasion, bribery, and saying that Hitler was a man who was “able to get things done.” Disgustingly enough, Ecclestone, at the age of 89, became a father to his first son, Ace, on July 1, 2020.
Eckon, Paul: Paul Ekon is an international investor and venture capitalist who allegedly fled South Africa in the mid-90s because he was being investigated for links to a gold-smuggling syndicate. Has strong ties to South Africa, including being a personal friend of former president, Thabo Mbeki.
Edsel, Lucinda: No info found.
Edwards, Andrew & Tracy: Unsure. There was an Andrew Edwards and Tracy Edwards on linkedin who have a background in finance, but it is not conclusive whether or not they are the ones listed here or if they are even married. There is also a Tracy Edwards who is a former British sailor who used to work as a Project Manager for Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) and now teaches children of Internet safety and online reputation. This would be a far more interesting connection, but I cannot find anyone by the name of Andrew with a relevant relationship to her.
Ellan, Johnathan: No info found. Given his email, likely an employee of Starwood Capital Group, a private investment firm that is widely known for their luxury hotels. Starwood also specializes in real estate and energy.
Elias, Brian: A Miami Beach attorney.
Eliasch, Johan & Amanda: Johan is a Swedish billionaire businessman whose company, Gethal, was fined for alleged deforestation of the Amazon in 2008. The charges were dropped. Amanda is his ex-wife.
Elingworth, Charlie & Amanda: Charles Ellingworth is an author, businessman, and director of several real estate companies, most notably Cadogan Group, which owns most of the property in Chelsea, an affluent area in Central London.
Elizabeth: Not enough info.
Ellenbogen, Eric: An entertainment exec of Classic Media (a subsidiary of Dreamworks) and former CEO of Marvel Enterprises.
Ellingworth, Mr. & Mrs.: Charlie and Amanda listed just above.
Elliot, Ben: Current Co-Chairman of the Conservative Party in the UK and nephew of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (Prince Charles’s current wife). Elliot is also co-founder of Quintessentially Group, a hospitality group that specializes in leisure, travel, and tourism. Epstein has several ties to this group. Elliot’s spokesman has said that Elliot never met Epstein. However, Elliot has been a dinner guest of Ghislaine Maxwell in New York.
Elliott, Gail & Joe Coffey: Gail Elliott is an English fashion designer and former model. Joe Coffey is her husband and co-owner of their fashion brand, Little Joe Woman.
Ellison, Mandy & Ralph: Ralph Ellison is a pharmaceutical executive and investor. He was CEO of DOR BioPharma Inc., now known as Soligenix Inc. a company focused on treating rare diseases. Soligenix came under scrutiny two years ago when they were accused of ripping off stockholders.
Elwes, Anabel: Not much information to be found on Annabel Elwes, although it is clear that she runs in elite circles. Back in 1997, Elwes organized the Hong Kong handover party in order to aid the Hong Kong Cancer Fund. Guests included Anthony de Rothschild (eldest son of Evelyn de Rothschild); James Hewitt (former cavalry officer who revealed that he had an affair with Princess Diana while she was with Prince Charles. Possibly the biological father of Prince Harry, if rumors are to be believed); actress Isla Fisher of Wedding Crashers fame; socialite Tamara Beckwith; and Bassam Debs (listed in the Panama Papers).
Epstein, Ed: An investigative journalist and friend of Epstein. Denies any knowledge of Epstein’s penchant for underage girls.
Erba Noona: Noona Smith-Petersen is a public relations executive who has worked for Giorgio Armani, Valentino, Calvin Klein, and Tod’s. She now owns her own PR firm. Noona is married to Enrico Erba, who is a client manager for Giorgio Armani.
Espirito, Santo, Manuel and Ros: Manuel Espirito Santo is likely an heiemployee of the Portuguese banking cartel, Espirito Santo, which received a major bailout in 2014.
Estlin, Jean-Marc: Jean-Marc Etlin is a banker and current partner in CVC Capital Partners, one of the world’s largest private equity and investment advisory firms.
Estrada, Juffali, Christina: Christina Estrada is a former Pirelli Calendar model and ex-wife (2001-2014) of Saudi billionaire heir and businessman, Walid Juffali. She received a £75 million settlement after their divorce.
Evans, Chris: Not the Captain America Chris Evans, but the UK television host and radio DJ. Evans has been rumored to often “flash” people at work (source: https://www.insider.com/police-build-case-on-chris-evans-sexual-assault-claim-2016-7). The BBC has also refused to investigate claims from an ex-Top Gear presenter that Evans “grabbed her breasts and touched himself.” When Evans was 35, he married 18-year-old pop star Billie Piper. They eventually separated and divorced years later.
Eveheart, Angie: Angie Everheart was one of the most well-known models of the 1990s. She has accused Harvey Weinstein of masturbating in front of her.
Faber, David: Due to the London area phone number listed, this is likely the former Conservative member of the Parliament of the United Kingdom. His maternal grandfather, Harold Macmillan, was Prime Minister of the UK from 1957-1963. As of 2010, Faber was to become head of Summer Fields, his former prep school. Summer Fields, an exclusive all-boys prep school, has come under scrutiny in the past. Tom Parker Bowles, son of Camilla Duchess of Cornwall (Prince Charles’s wife), has claimed that Summer Fields was “a hotbed of the sorts of things that are coming out now,” according to this article (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2812235/Tom-Parker-Bowles-former-headmaster-dismisses-food-writer-s-claims-old-primary-school-hotbed-impropriety-complete-rubbish.html) from the Daily Mail published in 2014. Parker Bowles went on to claim that one master would join naked boys in the shower.
Faber, Sally & Brook Johnson: Charles “Brook” Johnson is a millionaire UK businessman and polo player. His wife, Sally Faber was a weather girl in the 1980s and former wife of former David Faber (listed above). They live next door to Prince Charles in Highgrove.
Faibairn, Charlotte: Charlotte Fairbairn is an author who has worked in the arts, politics, and journalism. Most importantly, she is the eldest daughter of Sir Nicholas Fairbairn (1933-1995), a Scottish politician and former legal adviser to Margaret Thatcher, who was posthumously accused of child molestation and sexual assault against an adult female. Sir Nicholas’s name was allegedly on a list of VIPs who attended parties at an underage boys brothel in the 1980s with Cyril Smith, another British government official and alleged serial sex offender. More info can be found on both here: https://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/sir-nicholas-fairbairn-child-abuse-scandal-link-1531718 and here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyril_Smith
Fairfax, The Hon Rupert: Hon. Rupert Alexander James Fairfax is the son of Thomas Brian McElvie Fairfax, 13th Lord of Fairfax of Cameron. Rupert is currently Managing Director of Fairfax Saddles, which was awarded the Queen’s Award for Innovation in 2018. This is the highest business award in the UK.
Fairweather, Natasha: A well-known literary agent who was the literary editor of The Moscow Times and writereviewer for the London Times and The Economist.
Fairweather, Ms. Catherine: Former travel editor at Harper’s Bazaar and Porter. Married to photojournalist Don McCullin. McCullin co-wrote The Palestinians with Jonathan Dimbleby, another Epstein associate listed above.
Fairweather, Ambassador & Lady: Sir Patrick Fairweather is a retired British diplomat. He worked as Ambassador to Angola (1985-1987), Italy (1992-1996), and Albania (1992-1996). Lady Maria Fairweather was a linguist and professional interpreter who once helped out Bill Clinton and Boris Yeltsin when the official interpreter disappeared at a crucial moment just before the commencement of the G7 Summit.
Fakhre, Armado & Jasmine: Amado Fakhre is the British-Argentinian Founder and former CEO of Coral Capital, a Havana-based investment group best known for its joint venture partner in Havana’s upscale Saratoga Hotel. Fakhre was arrested for corruption and Coral Capital was forced to shut its doors in Havana. Fakhre was interrogated for 20 months in a Cuban safe house and eventually got sentenced to 5-7 years for bribery, but did not have to serve any time. No explanation has been given. Jasmine is his wife.
Fakhre, Danny & Christine: Danny Fakhre is the Chairman of Kochii Oil out of Australia. Christiane is his wife.
Fall, Meredith: No info found.
Fallah, Mrs: Likely Gina Fallah, mother of Christina Fallah. Gina’s father was Reza Fallah, an Iranian businessman and political advisor.
Fallah, Ms. Christina & Jon Robe: Christina Fallah is an interior designer and owner of Christina Fallah designs.
Falletans, Olivier de: Managing partner at Bryan, Olivier, & Co., a mid-market investment bank in Technology. Olivier comes from a family of nobility dating back to at least the 13th century.
Fanjul, Pepe: Jose “Pepe” Fanjul is a billionaire businessman involved in sugar and real estate. Vice Chairman and President of Flo-Sun. “Pepe” is a Republican. He was one of the largest contributors to George W. Bush’s campaign, is an ardent supporter of Marco Rubio, and co-hosted a large fundraiser for Donald Trump. His older brother, Alfonso Fanjul Jr., is a Democrat and was a co-chair of Bill Clinton’s Florida campaign, further proving that POLITICAL PARTISANSHIP IS A CROCK OF SHIT.
Faulkner, Terence & Cornelia: Terence Faulkner is Chairman of Leathams PLC, a London-based food distributor. Cornelia is Terence’s wife. She is Director of Leathams and a specialist decorator.
Feeley, Fiona: An interior designer at Atelier Designs.
Fekkai, Frederic: A French celebrity hairstylist.
Feldman, Andrew: Orthopaedic surgeon in New York City.
Felix, Helena: Not much to be found on Helena. She was possibly the director of an investment firm called Edenhaven Limited. Her husband, Peter, was an oral surgeon. He passed away in 2011.
Fell, David & Anne: Nothing much found here. After a lot of digging, it turns out that David Fell lives in an apartment at 1177 Avenue of the Americas, a real estate holding of Larry Silverstein, owner of the World Trade Center who (allegedly) took out insurance on the WTC just before 9/11.
Ferragamo, Leonardo & Beatrice: Leonardo is the son of Salvatore Ferragamo, the creator of Salvatore Ferragamo, S.p.A., an Italian luxury goods company specializing in shoes, leather goods, and watches.
Ferranti, Hugo: Hugo de Ferranti is an art dealer. He is also a Director for Action on Addiction, a UK-based charity for people with drug and alcohol addiction issues. Kate Middleton has served as patron of Action on Addiction since 2012.
Ferry, Brian: Bryan Ferry is a singesongwriter and the owner of Studio One recording studio in London. In the 1970s, he was the frontman for the British rock band, Roxy Music.
Fiennes, Martin: The heir apparent to the Baron Saye and Sele, a title of peerage in England. Lives in Broughton Castle. Cousin of actor Ralph Fiennes.
Fiennes, Martin: Same person.
Fiennes, Ralph: Famous actor. Cousin of Martin Fiennes. The fact that Epstein knows so many people in this family is troubling.
Fiennes, Suzzana: A British artist who works exclusively with Prince Charles. Susannah is the twin sister of Martin Fiennes and cousin of actor Ralph.
Fifer, Chuck: Not positive, but could be actor Chuck Pfeiffer, who is a close friend of Oliver Stone and was in Wall Street with Michael Douglas. However, it could be someone else. Pfeiffer didn’t have much of an acting career.
Figg, Christopher & Charlotte: Christopher Figg is a movie producer and CEO of Piccadilly Pictures. Figg is best known for producing the first 3 Hellraiser movies, Trainspotting, Dog Soldiers, Heidi, Coriolanus (directed by and starring Ralph Fiennes), We Need to Talk About Kevin, and many others. Charlotte is his wife.
Finch Charles: A failed director who became a talent agent for William Morris. Oversees a private equity finance unit called Finch Asia and is Chairman of Dean & Deluca (66 stores nationwide). Most notably, Charles Finch is known to host extravagant, A-list laden parties at Cannes, home of the world-famous film festival, pre-Oscar parties, and pre-BAFTA parties. There is an in-depth article from the Hollywood Reporter about Finch and his Cannes parties here (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/meet-charles-finch-ultimate-cannes-party-host-you-need-know-1001847). Regulaoccasional guests of his Cannes parties included: Harvey Weinstein, Rush Hour director Brett Ratner (accused of sexual abuse by 6 women, including actress Olivia Munn and actress/model Natasha Henstridge), Mick Jagger, and Netflix bigwig Ted Sarandos. Finch’s pre-Oscar and pre-BAFTA parties have attracted the likes of Jeff Bezos, Robert De Niro, Sofia Coppola, Pedro Almodovar, Margot Robbie, Rashida Jones (daughter of Quincy Jones, music mogul who has been accused of nefarious sexual endeavors), Tracee Ellis Ross, and others Finch is the son of famous actor Peter Finch (A-list actor from the 1960s-1970s, best known for his role in the movie Network, for which he won an Oscar for Best Actor) and Yolande Turner (actress). A deeper look into Finch’s parties and connections would definitely prove interesting.
Finklestein, Howard: Finkelstein is a public defender in Broward County, Florida. In Florida (and some other states), public defenders are elected, not appointed.
Firyal Princess: Jerusalem-born Jordanian princess who was once married to Prince Muhammad bin Talal. Firyal was named an UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador in 1992. Princess Firyal launched the International Hope Foundation in 1994 for the benefit of homeless and street children. Firyal holds positions with several museums (The Louvre, The Tate, MOMA, and Guggenheim), as well as positions with Columbia University, New York Public Library, United Nation Association, and International Rescue Committee.
Fisher, Dan: Given the address listed (Trump Tower), it is possible that this is a former lobbyist (https://www.citizen.org/news/36-former-lobbyists-working-trump-clear-conflicts-interest/) and current Special Assistant to the President and Director of the White House Visitors Office, however I am unable to confirm this information with 100% certainty.
Flick Mook: Likely Friedrich Christian Flick, known as Mick Flick. The Flick family was a billionaire coal and steel conglomerate that was accused of war crimes during the Holocaust. Flick’s grandfather financially supported the Nazi Party and used 48,000 forced laborers from the concentration camps, many of whom died due to the conditions. Grandfather Flick was found guilty of war crimes at Nuremberg and served 3 years of his 7-year sentence. Mick (Mook) sold most of his holdings in the ‘80s and retired a billionaire.
Foman, Bobby & Jeanette: Robert Q. Fomon currently works as a Managing Director for Morgan Stanley. He specializes in wealth management. He used to be an Assistant Director at Bear Stearns (owned by Chase), one of the investment banks that went under as a result of the 2008 financial crisis. His father is. Robert M. Fomon, Jeanette is his wife. D-F continued below....